Thursday, May 19, 2011

NLP: The Meta Model

The Meta Model is a pragmatic communications model used to specify information in a speaker's language. It is often contrasted with the intentionally ambiguous Milton Erickson inspired-Milton model. The meta model was originally presented in The Structure of Magic I: A Book About Language and Therapy in 1975 by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder, the co-founders of neuro-linguistic programming

It is used for gaining specificity, gathering info, assisting people in enrichening their reality maps, and it's the structure of nitpicking! It cuts through the bullshit, and is particularly helpful in therapy, discussions, arguments and seeing through salesmen, politicians, media BS and attempts for manipulation in general.

1) Mindread
You don't like me - how do you know I don't like you?

2) Lost performative
It's bad to be inconsistent - who says, how do you know?
it's a good thing to - according to whom?

3) Cause & effect
You make me sad - how does what i'm doing specifically cause you to choose to feel sad?
he makes me angry - how does what he's doing make you choose to feel angry?

4) Complex Equivalent
challenge it, how does one thing mean the other, give a counter example

she doesn't like me, she's always yelling at me - how does she yelling at you mean that she doesn't like you? Have you ever yelled at someone you liked?
Have you ever not yelled at someone and hated somebody?

You have no respect for my time cause you're late - how does being late have anything to do with respect, have you ever been late and respected somebody, have you ever been on time and disrespected somebody?

5) Presuppositions
If he knew how much I suffered he wouldn't do that - how do you choose to suffer, how do you know he doesn't know, how do you know he wouldn't do that if he knew?

6) Universal Quantifier
generalizations which are mostly untrue

She never listens to me - never? once? (exaggerate) What would happen if she did?
Nobody likes me - nobody? not one person?

7) Mobile operator of Necessity
I have to take care, I should go to school

What would happen if you didn't? - Expands their model of the world

8) Model operator of Possibility
Can, can't will, won't, may, may not, possible, impossible

I can't tell him the truth - what would happen if you did? What prevents you?

9) Nominalisation
Take the noun and turn it into to a verb

There's no communication here - who's not communicating what to whom? How would you like to communicate?
My relationship is terrible - what's terrible about the way you're relating?

10) Unspecified verb
He rejected me - retrieve the missing info - how/who specifically?

11) Simple Deletion
I'm uncomfortable - about who or what are you uncomfortable?
He never listens to me - who/never?

12) Lack of Referential Index
They don't listen to me - who specifically doesn't

13) Comparative Deletion
better, best, good, worst, more, less, most, least
She's a better person - better than whom, she's the best, compared to who
Your offer is expensive - expensive compared to what

14) Pacing current experience
if they try to link a yes-set, break it into chunks

15) Double Bind
If given two or three choices, create your own

Would you like me to stop by on monday or tuesday - wednesday :)

16) Conversational Postulate
answer instead of acting

Can you close the door - yes I can, would you like me to?

17) Extended quote
the other day I met... who said - what does one thing have to do with the other?

NLP: The Milton Model

The Milton Model is a model for indirect interpersonal communications inspired by psychiatrist and pioneer of medical hypnosis, Milton H. Erickson. The model was created by linguist John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the co-founders of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

It is described by the authors as the reverse set of the meta model. Whereas the meta model sought to specify distortion, deletions and generalization in a speaker's language, the Milton model intentionally utilizes those patterns.

It is general, ambiguous and metaphoric. The Milton model and meta model of NLP were the first two models of NLP. Bandler and Grinder met with Erickson on a regular basis, and modeled his approach and his work over many months.

The Milton Model lists the key parts of speech and key patterns that are useful in directing another person's line of thinking by being "artfully vague", and in principle the model states that larger chunks (more general use of language) can lead to more rapport, while smaller chunks, (more specific language) is more limiting and has a greater chance of excluding concepts from a person's experience.

The patterns of the Milton Model can be used to
  • pace another person's reality to gain rapport.
  • access unconscious resources of another person to gather information or to lead them into an altered state.
  • distract the conscious mind.
You will find politicians and the media using these speech patterns a lot.
Unfortunately the names for the speech patterns are a bit overly complicated and silly, therefor I wouldn't advise you to try and learn them by their names, but just be aware of the patterns and perhaps try using them when it seems appropriate. These are taken from the wiki article and a Chris Howard training program.

1) Mindread
Claiming to know thoughts and feelings

I know that you're wondering
I think you would agree

2) Lost Performative
Valued Judgements with performer left out, not saying who says it

It's a good thing to wonder...

3) Cause and effect
If... then

As you go deeper into trance you feel more relaxed

4) Complex Equivalent

The fact that you're sitting there means that you can go into trance

5) Presupposition
Assumption

You are learning many things.
Before you go into trance, I'd like you to sit comfortably in that chair as we talk about your outcomes for today.
When you go into trance, you may discover many resources that you did not realize you had yet.

6) Universal Quantifier
Generalization using all, all the things, every, any, everyone,...

You can always improve your language skills with every conversation you have.

7) Model operator of Possibility

You can learn, one can learn, want to.

8) Model operator of Necessity

Have to, must to, need to,...

9) Nominalisation
Using nouns, process words, that are frozen in time, nouns that are no objects

Relationship, love,...

10) Specified verb
Unlinked verb
And you can, can you not?

causes you to wonder what the verb relates to

11) Tag Question
Question added after a statement to ease resistance:

and you can understand that, right?
you're coming, aren't you?
do listen, will you?
let's have a beer, shall we?
you're developing a deep state of relaxation, aren't you?

12) Lack of referential Index
Phrase that dosn't pick out a specific portion of the listeners experience

one can you know

13) Comparative deletion
comparison is made but not specified as to who or what it was made

more or less the right thing to do (compared to what?)
better to do it that way, would it be best if i come around 2 o'clock

14) Pacing current experience
verifiable experience described in undeniable way
yes-set

you're listening to the sound of my voice, and you're going through these audio series

internally they are going yes, you can include something plausible and because they're on a yes-track they accept the plausible statement

15) Double bind
statement that gives the illusion of choice

Would you prefer finishing this portion of the audio series now or later?
Would you like me to stop by on monday or tuesday?

Triple binds are less obvious

16) Conversational postulate (Indirect Suggestion)
Normally a yes/no response - causes person to take action

Can you close the door?
Can you just take a moment to take a deep breath and relax?

17) Extended quote
delivering message in form of a quote but inducing trance, displaces resistance

the other day I met... who said: 'you can understand this information easily

18) Embedding Questions & Commands
Rather than directly asking: "What are you thinking about?", one might state:
"I'm curious to know what you are thinking.", or
"I'm just wondering what you are thinking."

An embedded command is typically distinguished or marked out using a subtle shift in voice tonality or non-verbal cue.

You may begin to feel a sense of comfort, as you begin to develop these skills in your daily life.

19) Negative Command
Don't think of an elephant - what just happened, you probably thought of an elephant.

Don't go into a deep state of relaxation just yet, just sit down on that chair and get comfortable first.

20) Ambiguity
Homophones:
you're = your
merry = marry = mary

Oronyms:
ice cream = i scream
depend = deep end
the sky = this guy
delight = the light

21) Metaphors in general

Hmm