Sunday, January 19, 2014

On break till RSI completely healed

Just a heads up that I'll be silent but will be back, RSI is not improving just getting worse it seems so going back to the doc on monday. In the meantime everyone can watch Neon Genesis Evangelion (Neo On Gene(s) Sis Eva Angel Lion Ion), which ends in a 2 episode Zen Mindfuck of epic proportions that kicked me harder than any Alan Watts lecture could. Going to bed, I was thinking "I wish I woke up sooner, again" in a double meaning, spiritually and literally as my biorhythm had me going to bed at 4 at night and waking up way too late. Got called out of bed this morning at exactly 11.11, thanks universe for the confirmation! Don't know where Dedroidify is heading but I confess I'm surrendering to a spiritual symbolic worldview that I just can't seem to keep ignoring to have a fulfilled life.

I found out just now that the creator of the series says there is no meaning in it. That's funny because that's what people often are trying to convince me about life and I disagree on both counts. Here are the themes from the wiki page. I also think it's awesome that he doesn't tell us what to think but trolls us into finding our own answers as he distances himself from that process, which always comes across better than explaining the supposed meaning of a story. Like people trying to convince you what to believe, I usually disagree with those too! See you all soon.

Saturday, January 18, 2014


Stories are not always a fiction
From He-Man and the Masters of the Universe 

 There is more truth in myth than in history.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

My calm is exceeded only by my cool. Which is total.

I'm totally calm, and I'm totally cool. 
My calm is exceeded only by my cool. 
Which is total.

Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon
(Glad I saved this, fitting after the last post...)

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Hello, Fnord

Eric White after his latest arrest. (photo/Cumberland County Sheriff's Department)
Eric White after his latest arrest. (photo/Cumberland County Sheriff's Department)
Hello, Fnord 
Eric White comes clean about his two-year-plus graffiti spree
By Chris Busby
Eric White certainly isn’t the most dangerous criminal in Portland, but his crimes are among the most visible blights on this city. 
The scraggly 22-year-old from Newport, Maine, started writing the nonsense word “fnord” on buildings, signs and sidewalks around town in early 2003. He estimates there are now upwards of 1,000 such tags spray-painted and written in marker throughout Portland, and countless more in other parts of the United States, Canada and Mexico. 
According to the online encyclopedia Wikipedia, the word fnord originally appeared in the Principia Discordia, a cult treatise written in 1965. The term was popularized in the Illuminatus! trilogy by sci-fi writers Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. In Shea and Wilson’s work, the word is said to appear in newspaper and magazine articles about current events, and to cause a vague sense of unease in readers who’ve been programmed not to consciously notice it. 
White’s done some of the tagging himself, but since he moved to town a few years ago, four or five others have taken up the tag, as well. One of them, 24-year-old Harry Bishop, is with White in the Cumberland County Jail. The pair were arrested on the night of Oct. 17, after a drunken fnord-scrawling spree on buildings and cars along Marginal Way. 
Last June, White was arrested, jailed for three days, and fined $150 for spray-painting the word on the Cumberland County Civic Center.
After this latest arrest, White was originally charged with a felony — aggravated criminal mischief — because the damage from the tags was estimated to cost over $2,000. That charge has since been changed to four separate counts of criminal mischief, a misdemeanor. He is being held in lieu of $5,000 cash bail, but during a recent interview, White said he expects that will be lowered to as little as $500 at the end of this month – a sum he can pay with some of the $6,000 he said he has saved in a bank account. 
In person, White is an easy-going, soft-spoken young man – a demeanor one might not expect from someone with the words “sick” and “fuck” crudely tattooed between his knuckes and finger joints. The Bollard interviewed him in jail on Oct. 21. An edited version of that interview follows. 
The Bollard: Why would you do something like this? Why write ‘fnord’ on a building?
White: I’ve read one of the books, and it just struck me as a really fascinating book. 
According to the books, ‘fnord’ is a word that people can’t consciously see. Do you think people can’t see it?
Originally I didn’t even think anybody would get the connection, besides, like, maybe one or two in a hundred people that might’ve read this book. Then thePortland Press Herald started publishing what it was.
But yeah, it is supposed to be a subliminal message. It’s supposed to cause anger, confusion, and all kinds of different stuff. And it seems to be working, ’cause it does piss a lot of people off. A lot of people around town hate me. 
Is this a form of ‘culture jamming’ [activities meant to force people to consider the negative effects of mass advertising]?
Yeah, like [culture jamming], like Ad Busters…. That’s what I would hope to get across, but I don’t think it would ever work…. I think maybe a few people may be inspired to go out and do something, but I really don’t think it’s going to affect many people at all. I don’t think society’s ready to change yet, which kind of sucks.
What angers you about society?
When I look in the newspaper and see 217 new laws passed this session in Congress. We don’t need that. The law originally started out as common law. It was basically a judge that decided whether you encroached on someone or their property. Like, ‘Did you hurt this man or did you hurt his property somehow?’ 
Just the way things are run, people – I’m at a loss of words right now. 
Do you have any other tags?
Just that.
How long have you been doing this?
When did the Iraq war start?
The invasion began in the spring of 2003.
I came to town the same day the Monument Square protests started, like the official start of the Iraq war. I’ve been doing it ever since then.
What brought you to Portland?
I was originally going to head down to Boston for a little bit because there was nothing to watch on TV. I got tired of playing games on my computer and tried turning on the TV, but there was nothing on TV, so I was like, ‘Oh, I’ll go to Boston.’ I gave up on my plans to run for [Palmyra] City Council. [A town near Newport, west of Bangor]
How many tags do you have up?
Probably close to a thousand, and it’s not just me. There’s a bunch of people that do it. There has been a bunch of people, but it’s down to about five different people actively writing it now. There’s people in Bangor doing it. It’s in Canada, it’s in Mexico, it’s from California to Maine. Every stop on the Greyhound from California to Maine has it. 
So this is an international thing?
No, the Canada thing was me, probably like five or six years ago when I was up there, before I even started doing it in Portland. Mexico would be another friend of mine. An ex-girlfriend got people started because she lives in Bangor. 
Where have you been living here in town? Do you have an apartment?
I was living with my ex-girlfriend at the time. Kind of. On and off. When I came in [to jail], I was actually working on getting an apartment. I’ve got like $6,000 in the bank and I get close to $600 a month, so I figured I could go in with a friend, but then the friend I went in with wrote a statement [to the police]. I don’t really blame her that much. She’s kind of slow in the head. 
How do you choose where to write ‘fnord’?
It depends on how drunk I am. That’s the only time I’ve been caught for it. This is my third time being caught.
What happened the first time?
I faked a seizure and went to the hospital. They treated me for an overdose that I didn’t have. I just started pretending to foam at the mouth, shaking all over the back of the cop car. I dropped some vitamins on his floor. 
I went to the hospital. They gave me a ticket. I went to court. I got like a $90 or $150 fine or something. 
The second time I got, I think, a $250 fine [it was $150]. But now they’re not offering me restitution or anything. I tried getting the lawyer to talk to the D.A. and say, ‘Hey, [White] can pay restitution.’ I can do whatever – clean up the tags. A lot of people are going around the city for community service cleaning up tags. They’re refusing to let me either do community service or pay fines. They just want me to do straight jail time.
I’m sure that’s what the victims would want – either me out doing community service or paying for their stuff to get cleaned up.
Do you target businesses owned by large corporations rather than mom-and-pop operations? 
Yeah, normally I do city and state property only, unless I’m really drunk.
Have you been working here in town?
I’m on disability right now, for lack of a want to work.
So what’s your disability?
Ergo phobia, fear of work. A bunch of mental stuff, basically.
Are you getting treatment?
I don’t really need treatment. It’s just not wanting to work. I have no problem with working if I’m working for myself. I’ve been considering running an ad in the newspaper for computer repair. I’d probably be less motivated to be walking around drinking five liters of wine everyday and writing on things. 
Did you graduate from high school up north?
Yeah, I got a G.E.D. and I’m gonna be starting college, hopefully the next semester or the one after.
SMCC [Southern Maine Community College] or wherever.
What do you want to study?
Chemistry and philosophy.
I think most of the public thinks the people who write graffiti tags are just idiots, but you’re not stupid, you’re preparing for college. Is the public’s perception true?
Depending on the people. It’s just like anything else. I’ve met really stupid people that do it and I’ve met some other people that do it. But a couple people are pretty smart and some of them do have, like, a message. Like there’s somebody named Learn.
Yeah, I’ve seen that around. Learn’s still around, huh?
[No answer]
He did part of the legal wall behind the Asylum. 
Have you ever hooked up with those kind of graffiti artists?
Nah, I really don’t have much skill. I don’t even really call it tagging.
What do you call it? 
Mindless vandalism.
Are you sorry for this latest spree?
Yeah. Like I said, I normally don’t tag private businesses, unless I’ve got a reason to, like I don’t like something they’re doing, or whatever. 
Whatever the result of these latest charges, will you stop doing this when you’re free again?
I’ll just leave my markers at home when I’m drinking. Cause this time and the last time I got caught I was drinking, and I’m pretty sure the one before it, too.
After you got caught the last time, did you just go right back at it?
Is there anything the city can do to stop this?
To stop me, money would probably be the best thing to take away from me. I don’t have much of it. But they are smartening up some to stop graffiti. All the articles in the Portland Press Herald get read a lot, and people start complaining about it.
They’re also, after they clean off a tag on heavily tagged things – those traffic-control boxes get tagged a lot – they spray this stuff over it that makes it easier to clean off with water and soap or whatever.
Hopefully taggers will just get more creative. Like, when I was arrested, they caught me with a bottle of hydrochloric acid. If you dump that on cement, it bubbles up green and smokes a little bit, but as soon as it rains, that one spot where you dumped it will be bleached white.
Or hydrofluoric acid will etch into glass.
I saw a tag like that on the new bus shelter on Congress and Center streets.
I think they used glass cutters, ’cause I’ve seen a bunch of those around. Starbucks [the one on the corner of Middle and Exchange streets] is covered with ‘em. I heard those are like $900 windows. 
Was there a chase before this latest arrest?
Me and my friends were going into Arby’s to get something to eat, and as soon as we turned the corner around Arby’s there was a cop there, and then two other ones pulled up.
Do you think the cops are getting any better at catching people like you? 
No. They’re not that smart. [Reading from the police report]: ‘In most cases the males used the tag “fnord.” In one place, they wrote: “fuck yo cat.”‘ I don’t think either one of us wrote [that]. 
You didn’t write that? 
[Laughing.] No…. 
I know down in Boston, it’s a felony if you get caught. Somebody was arrested for it down there, got out on bail; a couple days later, just left the state. I believe he’s actually in here right now. I’m not sure if he’s been sent to rehab yet or somethin’. An ex-friend of mine.
Have you seen any tags here, in the jail?
Normally, yeah, there is usually one in whatever cell I go in.
Have you ever put yourself in life-threatening situations, climbing high building and such to do this?
I’ve climbed up ladders before, scaffolding. 
Last winter, someone stray-painted ‘fnord’ in big letters, with white paint, on the bricks in front of Longfellow’s statue. Did you do that?
Allegedly that was me. 
photo/The Fuge
photo/The Fuge
Last year, someone wrote ‘fnord’ on a stop sign on Lewis Street, right by where I live, so it said ‘Stop Fnord.’ Do you remember that one? 
No, but for a while I was making stickers that said ‘stop writing,’ in tiny letters, then ‘fnord,’ in big letters. Occasionally I’ve written ‘ford.’ I’m guessing people either get the joke or think I’m an idiot.
I saw one on a candidate’s sign recently.
I was pulling those up for a little bit and bringing them up to my girlfriend’s; turning the signs around, the paper ones, and writing weird things like, ‘Vote Jesus for Savior.’ I really don’t think I can get into trouble for that, unless they’ve got some sort of permit to put those there. It’s basically the equivalent of littering.
Do you think having these arrests on your record will hurt your ability to find work in the future?
I don’t really want to work. I just want to go to college to learn. I’m not really looking for a career… I might be self-employed.
Do you want to be an artist, or a writer?
Art. I’m not really good at writing. Art, computers, chemistry, that’s my only interests.
You mentioned philosophy. What sort of philosophers are you into?
Nietzsche, random stuff.
Do you have any other charges on your record?
I got probably 20 charges, but they’re all really nothing. I got a disorderly conduct at the Monument Square protests, and I got a couple of thefts, drinking in public, carrying a concealed weapon – even though I don’t really think a flare gun’s a weapon.
A flare gun?
Me and my friends walked around town shooting off flare guns, probably about a year ago – just shooting them up into the air.
The police report says ‘fnord’ is like your religion.
Fnord isn’t a religion, but it comes from the Principia Discordia, which is a religion based around discord. It’s pretty interesting. 
It’s mainly a stupid religion. It’s not really something you take seriously-seriously, but it’s fun to take it semi-seriously. There’s only five rules: every Discordian must eat a hot dog, sans bun, on a Friday. That comes from like a variety of different religions… The last rule is a Discordian is prohibited from believing what he reads. You just get done reading these five rules that are supposed to be the things you run your life by, and you’re like, huh?
When will you stop doing this? Will you be 30, 40, 60 years old and still at it? 
I don’t know. I haven’t grown up much in my life. Probably someday it’ll stop. I’ll probably be 30 years old, still getting picked up for disorderly conduct, criminal mischief or something. 
Are you worried about that? 
Just as long as I keep my charges like nothing serious. I’m a pacifist actually. Never even had a violent crime.

Source: The Bollard

The Raver's Prayer

I want to dream some NOISE!

I dream myself to life. I sleep and make me over and over and over and over-- 

 I want to dream some NOISE!

From Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Just a heads up on the past silence

Someone recently told me they don't like seeing posts of why people aren't posting on a blog and that was pretty good advice, but still I wanna explain that I wanna post and share more of what I'm reading and such recently but through working out I got a really bad case of RSI. Damn motivational crap on the internet should probably remind people that resting is just as important! I totally overdid it and am learning it the hard way. Been suffering for six weeks now being nearly unable to use my hands and wrists which just refuse to heal so far. Taking anti-inflammatory agents and trying to not touch the keyboard & mouse (which is impossible for me). Seeing as I've injured several parts of my body (remember the shoulder? Also the back, upper arms, and now hands and wrists) since trying to step up my work out I think I'll have to start realizing my body is for some reason just not cut out for normal work out routines and when healed I will have to restart with ridiculous baby steps. So bear with me. I hope to be back posting more soon.

Surpass imagination's greatest paragons

Imitation is man's nature and if he but wills it, so shall he surpass even imagination's greatest paragons.
 All-Star Superman by Grant Morrison


KOYAKATSI Trailer from Ayoub Qanir on Vimeo

Making Of KOYAKATSI from Ayoub Qanir on Vimeo

Koyakatsi is apparently a Hopi word meaning "life in balance." Thanks to Hagbard Celine for the heads up!

Monday, January 13, 2014

A potential source of near limitless power

Magic is a fact of life in Eternia. Here on Earth? There are, what? A few dozen active mages on the entire world? The essence here is barely tapped. Earth's font is a rich resource, a potential source of near limitless power.

From He-man and the Masters of the Universe

Tarot and Anime

Shoji Kawamori is a Japanese anime creator, screenwriter and mechanical designer, of the series he has worked on I am nearing the end of Vision of Escaflowne and have started watching his new series Nobunaga the Fool. Both heavily feature the use of Tarot so if you're interested in learning more about the Tarot or just seeing it used in fiction, give these series a try.

The main character Hitomi (meaning: "Pupil (eye)") does tarot readings in the series which have effects on future events, she also uses a pendulum. Every episode begins by showing a tarot card which often has a connection to the story of that episode, sometimes blatantly, sometimes more subtle. (from what I can recognize, I'm still very much a tarot novice). I should add that this is a Shoujo anime which means it's targeted towards a female viewership, which is really noticeable and if it weren't the tarot aspects and the mechs I wouldn't have kept watching.

Here are the opening scenes

Only 2 episodes have been released of this anime, it's a bit silly at first in using historical characters alongside mechs but nonetheless really entertaining so far. In the first episode Leonardo Da Vinci introduces himself to Jean D'Arc by saying he works for King Arthur and offers her a Tarot card. She draws the Star and gets an explanation. Apparently they drew up an entire deck, we've seen two so far, the Star and the Lovers and both look amazing.

Do you know any works of fiction that uses the Tarot? Please let me know. Meanwhile I'll listen to David Goddard's audio series again, I should probably find a good book on the tarot too (the one I got with my cards from a dutch author isn't that good.) so I can finally get to know them by heart.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Astonishing X-Men and the Media

The news isn't there to tell you what happened. It's there to tell you what it wants you to hear, or what it thinks you want to hear. They already have their stories worked out. They just wait for events to fill in the blanks. When they don't fit, they get sidelined or twisted till they do. 
Cyclops explains how the Media works. 

What if it backfires? What if the press brands us a menace? 
Then you'll get a much more interesting bunch of groupies, kid. 
Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon

Saturday, January 11, 2014

What if God got bored - Alan Watts

Joseph Campbell - The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1)

By entering and transforming the personal psyche, the surrounding culture, the life of the family, one's relational work, and other matters of life can be transformed too.

Since time out of mind, this has been understood as being best effected by journeying through the personal, cosmological, and equally vast spiritual realities.

By being challenged via the failings and fortunes one experiences there, one is marked as belonging to a force far greater, and one is changed ever after.

The idea to go forward, to seek wholeness without pausing to reconsider, debate, or procrastinate one more time - this is found too in the 20th century poet Louise Bogan's work. She writes in the same crisp vein about commencing the momentous journey. Her poem, entitled "The Daemon," refers to angel that each person on earth is believed to be born with, the one who guides the life and destiny of that child on earth. In the piece, she questions this greater soulful force about going forward in life. The daemon answers her quintessential question with the ancient answer:

It said, "Why not?"
It said, "Once more."

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph. D., From the preface to the 2004 commemorative edition.

Now it's as easy as humming a favorite song.

I can still remember how difficult it once seemed to think the suit into a higher vibrational key.
Now it's as easy as humming a favorite song.
Aztek by Grant Morrison

Radiohead - Exit Music

Wake.. from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape

Pack.. and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before all hell breaks loose

Breathe, keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe, keep breathing
I can't do this alone

Sing.. us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill, such a chill

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace

We hope that you choke, that you choke

Land of the Brainwashed

The propaganda in North Korea is ridiculous:
Isn't it?

Reptilian Overlord of the Illuminati caught on photograph

Thursday, January 9, 2014


Those who refuse out of dry spiritual greed & choose pure contemplation forfeit their humanity—those who refuse out of dull anguish, those who hesitate, lose their chance at divinity—those who mold themselves blind masks of Ideas & thrash around seeking some proof of their own solidity end by seeing out of dead men's eyes.

Sorcery: the systematic cultivation of enhanced consciousness or non-ordinary awareness & its deployment in the world of deeds & objects to bring about desired results.

The incremental openings of perception gradually banish the false selves, our cacophonous ghosts—the "black magic" of envy & vendetta backfires because Desire cannot be forced. Where our knowledge of beauty harmonizes with the ludus naturae, sorcery begins.

No, not spoon-bending or horoscopy, not the Golden Dawn or make-believe shamanism, astral projection or the Satanic Mass—if it's mumbo jumbo you want go for the real stuff, banking, politics, social science—not that weak blavatskian crap.

Sorcery works at creating around itself a psychic/physical space or openings into a space of untrammeled expression—the metamorphosis of quotidian place into angelic sphere. This involves the manipulation of symbols (which are also things) & of people (who are also symbolic)—the archetypes supply a vocabulary for this process & therefore are treated as if they were both real & unreal, like words. Imaginal Yoga.

The sorcerer is a Simple Realist: the world is real—but then so must consciousness be real since its effects are so tangible. The dullard finds even wine tasteless but the sorcerer can be intoxicated by the mere sight of water. Quality of perception defines the world of intoxication—but to sustain it & expand it to include others demands activity of a certain kind—sorcery.

Sorcery breaks no law of nature because there is no Natural Law, only the spontaneity of natura naturans, the tao. Sorcery violates laws which seek to chain this flow—priests, kings, hierophants, mystics, scientists & shopkeepers all brand the sorcerer enemy for threatening the power of their charade, the tensile strength of their illusory web.

A poem can act as a spell & vice versa—but sorcery refuses to be a metaphor for mere literature—it insists that symbols must cause events as well as private epiphanies. It is not a critique but a re-making. It rejects all eschatology & metaphysics of removal, all bleary nostalgia & strident futurismo, in favor of a paroxysm or seizure of presence.

Incense & crystal, dagger & sword, wand, robes, rum, cigars, candles, herbs like dried dreams—the virgin boy staring into a bowl of ink—wine & ganja, meat, yantras & gestures—rituals of pleasure, the garden of houris & sakis—the sorcerer climbs these snakes & ladders to a moment which is fully saturated with its own color, where mountains are mountains & trees are trees, where the body becomes all time, the beloved all space.

The tactics of ontological anarchism are rooted in this secret Art—the goals of ontological anarchism appear in its flowering. Chaos hexes its enemies & rewards its devotees...this strange yellowing pamphlet, pseudonymous & dust-stained, reveals all...send away for one split second of eternity.



  1. The suspicion the Universe is a conspiracy on your behalf.1
  2. On the terrestrial level, pronoia should be defined as the opposite of paranoia: the sneaking suspicion others are conspiring to help you (and you them!). Symptoms include: sudden attacks of optimism and outbreaks of goodwill.2
    1. John Perry Barlow
    2. Zippies

more at, one of the most the copy-past unfriendliest sites :p