Wednesday, September 3, 2025

The Psychology of The Wounded Healer

I could probably post a video each day from the amazing Eternalised channel, would that be too much? I'm not sure it can be!

The wounded healer refers to the capacity to be at home in the darkness of suffering and there to find germs of light and recovery. It is the archetype at the bottom of all genuine healing procedures. As long as we feel victimised, bitter and resentful towards our wound, and seek to escape from suffering it, we remain inescapably bound to it. This is neurotic suffering, as opposed to the authentic suffering of the wounded healer which is purified. The wound can destroy you, or it can wake you up. As Carl Jung wrote, "The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals."

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

The Valley of the Grail

More than ten years have passed since I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease, and the road since has been long. My health collapsed, and for years I was off the path and silent here.

Now I have found my way back. A new space has opened: Vallis Gradalis. There I share how illness, partial recovery, Qabalah, dreams, and ritual led me again into the Grail quest, the seeker who falters, asks again, and learns through the journey itself.

Dedroidify will remain, while Vallis Gradalis is where I tell the story of returning to the path, and of the walk that continues.

Read the first post here at Vallis Gradalis.

The Suit of Swords: Air of Yetzirah

The Suit of Swords: Air of Yetzirah

In the Qabalistic Tree of Life, the Suit of Swords belongs to Yetzirah, the World of Formation. Here, Air takes the fiery inspiration of Atziluth and the watery imagination of Briah and gives them shape through thought, language, and pattern. Swords are the suit of the mind: reason, analysis, justice, conflict, and sometimes sorrow. They cut through illusion, but they can also wound.

Each numbered card corresponds to one of the Sephiroth, showing how the Air of Yetzirah manifests through the Tree: from the Ace in Kether (pure clarity) to the Ten in Malkuth (ruin and collapse). The Court Cards embody Air in human form — King, Queen, Knight, and Page/Princess — each carrying their own Sephirothic role.


Ace of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A hand emerges from the cloud, holding an upright sword crowned with wreaths of victory. Mountains rise in the distance.

  • Card meaning: Clarity, truth, mental breakthrough, decisive power.

  • Reversed meaning: Confusion, misuse of intellect, distorted truth.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Kether — Crown, pure emanation.

  • Sephira meaning: The first flash of truth, the sword of mind descending from the divine.

  • Numerology: 1 — seed, unity, beginning of thought.

  • Narrative: The sword is raised; the light of truth descends to cut through darkness.


Two of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A blindfolded woman sits between land and sea, holding two crossed swords in balance under a calm moon.

  • Card meaning: Stalemate, decision, inner conflict, balance of opposites.

  • Reversed meaning: Indecision, denial, confusion, imbalance.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Chokmah — dynamic wisdom.

  • Sephira meaning: The tension of duality, intellect forced to choose.

  • Numerology: 2 — polarity, choice, balance of forces.

  • Narrative: The swords cross in stillness; decision waits, but cannot be delayed forever.


Three of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: Three swords pierce a heart beneath a stormy sky.

  • Card meaning: Heartbreak, grief, sorrow, truth that wounds.

  • Reversed meaning: Release of pain, forgiveness, delayed heartbreak.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Binah — structure, understanding.

  • Sephira meaning: The form of sorrow, grief shaped into awareness.

  • Numerology: 3 — synthesis, but here through pain.

  • Narrative: The sword’s clarity pierces the heart — truth cannot be avoided.


Four of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A knight lies in repose upon a tomb, hands folded, one sword beneath him, three above. A window shows a scene of prayer.

  • Card meaning: Rest, recovery, meditation, retreat.

  • Reversed meaning: Restlessness, refusal to pause, burnout.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Chesed — mercy, stability.

  • Sephira meaning: The mind finding rest within structure, healing after strife.

  • Numerology: 4 — foundation, pause, restoration.

  • Narrative: The swords are sheathed; the mind recovers its strength.


Five of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure smirks while collecting swords from defeated opponents; two walk away under a bleak sky.

  • Card meaning: Defeat, hollow victory, conflict without honor.

  • Reversed meaning: Reconciliation, lessons learned, making amends.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Geburah — severity, testing.

  • Sephira meaning: The sharp edge of conflict, destructive use of power.

  • Numerology: 5 — instability, strife, challenge.

  • Narrative: The wind howls — victory is empty when won without balance.


Six of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A boat carries figures across calm waters, guided toward distant shores.

  • Card meaning: Transition, passage, healing journey, moving on.

  • Reversed meaning: Stagnation, inability to move forward, clinging to pain.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Tiferet — beauty, harmony.

  • Sephira meaning: The sword’s clarity guides the soul across troubled waters to balance.

  • Numerology: 6 — harmony, reconciliation.

  • Narrative: The mind leaves storm behind, gliding toward calmer shores.


Seven of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure sneaks away from a camp carrying five swords, glancing back; two are left behind.

  • Card meaning: Strategy, cunning, deception, secrecy.

  • Reversed meaning: Exposure, confession, clarity.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Netzach — desire, persistence.

  • Sephira meaning: Air used strategically, intellect employed with cunning or trickery.

  • Numerology: 7 — testing, challenge, risk.

  • Narrative: The sword can be sly — cleverness hides as easily as it reveals.


Eight of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A blindfolded woman is bound, surrounded by eight swords, though the path is open if she sees it.

  • Card meaning: Restriction, self-imposed bondage, paralysis of fear.

  • Reversed meaning: Release, empowerment, seeing clearly at last.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Hod — intellect, order.

  • Sephira meaning: Thought crystallized into a prison, the danger of mind turned against itself.

  • Numerology: 8 — structure, repetition, the cage of reason.

  • Narrative: The wind becomes a snare; freedom lies just beyond false bindings.


Nine of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure sits upright in bed, hands covering face, nine swords hanging on the wall behind.

  • Card meaning: Anxiety, despair, sleepless nights, mental anguish.

  • Reversed meaning: Hope returning, recovery, easing of pain.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Yesod — foundation, subconscious.

  • Sephira meaning: The mind’s shadows, fear magnified in the night.

  • Numerology: 9 — culmination, burden before release.

  • Narrative: The air grows heavy with nightmares — yet dawn waits beyond.


Ten of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure lies face down with ten swords in his back, a dark sky above, but sunrise breaking on the horizon.

  • Card meaning: Finality, collapse, betrayal, endings.

  • Reversed meaning: Recovery, regeneration, ruin averted.

  • Sephira (Yetzirah): Malkuth — manifestation.

  • Sephira meaning: The mind’s ruin embodied in matter, collapse at the cycle’s end.

  • Numerology: 10 — completion, end of cycle, destruction clearing space.

  • Narrative: The storm has struck its final blow — but light returns with the dawn.


Court Cards of Swords

Before reading the Courts, recall their “divine family”: King = Father (Chokmah), Queen = Mother (Binah), Knight/Prince = Son (Tiferet), Page/Princess = Daughter (Malkuth). Each expresses Air in a different mode.


Page of Swords (Princess of Swords)

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A youth stands with sword raised, wind swirling, ready to act, eyes alert.

  • Card meaning: Curiosity, vigilance, new ideas, youthful intellect.

  • Reversed meaning: Gossip, spying, mental restlessness.

  • Elemental nature: Earth of Air — grounded curiosity, learning the power of thought.

  • Sephira: Malkuth — the daughter, anchoring Air into manifestation.




Knight of Swords (Prince of Swords)

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A knight charges forward with sword raised, his horse galloping into strong winds.

  • Card meaning: Swift action, bold words, fearless pursuit of truth.

  • Reversed meaning: Recklessness, thoughtless cruelty, rashness.

  • Elemental nature: Air of Air — intellect doubled, the storm of thought.

  • Sephira: Tiferet — the son, Air in motion, carrying the balance forward.





Queen of Swords

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A queen sits on her throne with a sword raised, other hand extended as if inviting, sharp yet just.

  • Card meaning: Clarity, independence, honesty, fairness.

  • Reversed meaning: Coldness, cruelty, bitterness, harsh judgment.

  • Elemental nature: Water of Air — compassion joined with reason.

  • Sephira: Binah — the mother, form and discernment of Air.





King of Swords (Knight in older decks)

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A king sits firmly upon his throne, sword upright, surrounded by butterflies and clear skies.

  • Card meaning: Authority, justice, rational mastery, truth upheld.

  • Reversed meaning: Tyranny, manipulation, corruption of reason.

  • Elemental nature: Fire of Air — the decisive blaze of intellect.

  • Sephira: Chokmah — the father, pure outpouring of mental force.





Closing Thought

The Swords of Yetzirah trace the powers of Air through the Tree of Life — from the Ace’s clarity in Kether to the Ten’s collapse in Malkuth. They reveal how thought shapes reality, for better or worse: as insight, as conflict, or as sorrow. The Court Cards then show how Air walks in human form: Page as restless seeker, Knight as storming crusader, Queen as discerning judge, King as rational authority.

Together, they remind us that the sword is double-edged: it protects and clarifies, but also wounds when wielded without wisdom.

Monday, September 1, 2025

The Quest for the Holy Grail (Self)

The Quest for the Holy Grail has fascinated the Western consciousness for a long time. It epitomises the true spirit of Western man and is, in many ways, the myth of Western civilisation. It is a perennial and timeless pattern that expresses fundamental concerns of the human condition.

The Holy Grail is a mysterious object guarded by a king in a hidden castle. It has been described as a cup, dish, or a magical stone that can provide healing powers, immortality, eternal youth, and unlimited nourishment. It represents the fulfilment of the highest spiritual potentialities in human consciousness, which endows the world with a symbolic and spiritual meaning. The quest for the Holy Grail is always more or less the same, it is the hero’s journey, at the end of which one obtains the “treasure hard to attain.” It is the search for that which makes life most meaningful.

Psychologically, the Holy Grail—like the philosophers' stone—is a symbol of the Self, the psychic totality and ultimate wholeness of the human being. The soul which represents the life principle, is that wondrous vessel which is the goal of the quest, whose final secret can never be revealed, but must ever remain hidden because its essence is a mystery.

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Initiates of the Flame (1922) by Manly P. Hall


Summary: The Initiates of the Flame is a little essay on the mystery of fire. To all ancient peoples fire was a symbol of the divine One dwelling in the innermost parts of all things. Robert Fludd, a Rosicrucian mystic, writing in the seventeenth century, declared that the fire of the philosophers was divided into three parts: first, a visible fire which is the source of physical light and heat; second, an invisible, or astral fire, which enlightens and warms the soul; third, a spiritual, or divine fire which in the universe is known as God and in man as spirit.

The Initiates who took their oaths in the presence of the Flame renounced the lesser concerns of ordinary life and, freed from the attachments of this material sphere, these purified souls became custodians of that symbolic Flame of wisdom which is the true Light of the world. This Light is a manifestation of the one Universal Life, that active agent whose impulses are the cause of all sidereal phenomena. Where in antiquity this flame of light, this spirit-fire, was the object of a universal adoration and was worshipped as the very presence of God Himself, it now lies buried beneath the ruins of man's fallen temple. Obscured by the paramount interests of the flesh, it emits but the faintest gleam in this non-philosophic age. 

    Manly P. Hall

Saturday, August 30, 2025

The Suit of Cups: Water of Briah

The Suit of Cups: Water of Briah

In the Qabalistic Tree of Life, the Suit of Cups belongs to Briah, the World of Creation. Here, fire becomes water,  inspiration turns to imagination, compassion, love, and longing. Cups speak to relationships, emotions, and the unseen tides of the heart.

Each numbered card corresponds to one of the Sephiroth on the Tree of Life, showing how Water moves through the spheres: the Ace as Kether (the fountain of pure love), the Two as Chokmah (union of opposites), the Three as Binah (nurturing joy), down to the Ten as Malkuth (emotional fullness embodied). The Court Cards show how this emotional current takes form in human life: Page, Knight, Queen, and King. Each embodying an elemental aspect of Water.


Ace of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A divine hand holds a chalice overflowing with water, five streams pouring into a pool where a dove descends with a wafer.

  • Card meaning: Emotional renewal, love, spiritual blessing, the heart’s awakening.

  • Reversed meaning: Blocked emotions, emptiness, rejection of love.

  • Sephira (Briah): Kether — Crown, source of pure emanation.

  • Sephira meaning: The fountain of divine love overflowing into the world.

  • Numerology: 1 — beginnings, seed of water, unity of heart.

  • Narrative: The spring begins to flow; love awakens in its purest form.


Two of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A man and woman exchange cups, watched over by a winged lion’s head, symbol of passion and union.

  • Card meaning: Partnership, attraction, harmony, deep bond.

  • Reversed meaning: Disharmony, imbalance, broken union.

  • Sephira (Briah): Chokmah — Wisdom, dynamic force.

  • Sephira meaning: The current of love moving toward union, the first embrace.

  • Numerology: 2 — polarity, relationship, duality made whole.

  • Narrative: The waters find another to join; a bond is sealed.


Three of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: Three women dance in a circle, raising their cups in celebration, fruits of harvest at their feet.

  • Card meaning: Joy, community, shared celebration, friendship.

  • Reversed meaning: Overindulgence, gossip, shallow bonds.

  • Sephira (Briah): Binah — Understanding, nurturing.

  • Sephira meaning: Water as the womb of joy, nourishing bonds that multiply.

  • Numerology: 3 — growth, synthesis, shared abundance.

  • Narrative: The stream becomes a gathering — joy flows outward to many.


Four of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A youth sits under a tree, arms crossed, ignoring three cups before him while a fourth is offered by a divine hand.

  • Card meaning: Withdrawal, introspection, emotional apathy, reevaluation.

  • Reversed meaning: New outlook, acceptance of offered opportunities.

  • Sephira (Briah): Chesed — Mercy, expansion.

  • Sephira meaning: Water settling into a pool, stable yet prone to stagnation.

  • Numerology: 4 — stability, foundation, pause.

  • Narrative: The stream grows still — the heart questions what it truly desires.


Five of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A cloaked figure mourns over three spilled cups, while two remain standing behind. A bridge and castle lie in the distance.

  • Card meaning: Grief, regret, dwelling on loss while neglecting what remains.

  • Reversed meaning: Acceptance, renewal, moving on from sorrow.

  • Sephira (Briah): Geburah — Severity, trial, cutting away.

  • Sephira meaning: Water as grief — purification through sorrow.

  • Numerology: 5 — conflict, instability, challenge to balance.

  • Narrative: The stream is broken; yet behind, water still flows.


Six of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A child offers flowers in a cup to another, innocence and nostalgia surrounding them.

  • Card meaning: Memories, kindness, innocence, gifts of the past.

  • Reversed meaning: Clinging to the past, naivety, inability to move forward.

  • Sephira (Briah): Tiferet — Beauty, harmony, balance.

  • Sephira meaning: Water as innocent joy — the balance of heart across time.

  • Numerology: 6 — harmony, reconciliation, equilibrium.

  • Narrative: The water flows back to its source, carrying memory and sweetness.


Seven of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure gazes at seven cups in a cloud, each filled with visions — jewels, snakes, a castle, a shrouded figure.

  • Card meaning: Imagination, dreams, choices, illusions.

  • Reversed meaning: Clarity, realism, cutting through illusion.

  • Sephira (Briah): Netzach — Desire, victory of feeling.

  • Sephira meaning: Water overflowing into fantasy — visions of both truth and delusion.

  • Numerology: 7 — testing, spiritual challenge, discernment.

  • Narrative: The water shimmers with many reflections — which is true?


Eight of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure walks away from eight cups, leaving them stacked beneath the moonlight, seeking something beyond.

  • Card meaning: Departure, spiritual quest, leaving behind what no longer fulfills.

  • Reversed meaning: Avoidance, stagnation, fear of change.

  • Sephira (Briah): Hod — Intellect, order.

  • Sephira meaning: Water as discernment — the choice to walk away from what is full but empty.

  • Numerology: 8 — movement, balance, deeper search.

  • Narrative: The stream is left behind; the seeker follows the moon upriver.


Nine of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A content figure sits before nine cups arranged in an arc, smiling with satisfaction.

  • Card meaning: Fulfillment, satisfaction, wish granted, emotional stability.

  • Reversed meaning: Overindulgence, smugness, emptiness beneath pleasure.

  • Sephira (Briah): Yesod — Foundation, imagination, dream.

  • Sephira meaning: Water as contentment and wish — dreams realized at last.

  • Numerology: 9 — culmination, fullness before completion.

  • Narrative: The river pools in abundance, the heart rests in its flow.


Ten of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A rainbow of ten cups arches above a family standing hand in hand before their home, arms lifted in joy.

  • Card meaning: Fulfillment, love, family, harmony, the highest joy of the heart.

  • Reversed meaning: Broken bonds, tension at home, ideal unfulfilled.

  • Sephira (Briah): Malkuth — Manifestation, kingdom.

  • Sephira meaning: Water embodied as communal joy, the heart realized on earth.

  • Numerology: 10 — completion, manifestation, cycle of love fulfilled.

  • Narrative: The river becomes an ocean — love made whole in the world.


Court Cards of Cups

The Courts show how the water of Briah takes human form, each combining Water with another element, and each rooted in a Sephirah.


Page of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A youth in colorful garb gazes at a cup from which a fish emerges, symbol of imagination and surprise.

  • Card meaning: Curiosity, daydreaming, emotional openness, creative spark.

  • Reversed meaning: Immaturity, escapism, emotional unreliability.

  • Elemental nature: Earth of Water — sensitivity first grounded.

  • Sephira: Malkuth — emotions taking first steps into the world.



Knight of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A knight rides a white horse, cup in hand, moving gracefully and deliberately.

  • Card meaning: Romance, idealism, pursuit of dreams, poetic quest.

  • Reversed meaning: Moodiness, insincerity, empty gestures.

  • Elemental nature: Air of Water — dreams on the wind, motion of feeling.

  • Sephira: Tiferet — beauty in motion, love expressed in pursuit.





Queen of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A serene queen sits by the sea, holding a lidded ornate cup, reflecting on its mysteries.

  • Card meaning: Compassion, intuition, nurturing presence, depth of soul.

  • Reversed meaning: Emotional overwhelm, insecurity, codependence.

  • Elemental nature: Water of Water — pure empathy, deep current of feeling.

  • Sephira: Binah — the womb of creation, the queen as vessel of compassion.






King of Cups

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A king sits upon a throne over water, holding a cup and scepter, calm despite the restless sea.

  • Card meaning: Emotional mastery, balance, wisdom, leadership of compassion.

  • Reversed meaning: Manipulation, cold detachment, hidden agendas.

  • Elemental nature: Fire of Water — passion directed by deep wisdom.

  • Sephira: Chokmah — wisdom flowing as love, the king as calm authority.





Closing Thought

The Cups of Briah map the descent of water through the Tree of Life, from the Ace’s fountain of love in Kether, through the bonds and griefs of human experience, to the fullness of communal joy in Malkuth. The Court then shows how these waters live in human form: Page as innocent dreamer, Knight as questing lover, Queen as empathic vessel, King as wise guide.

Together, they reveal that water is both mirror and depth, the currents that connect us to one another and to the divine.

From Ritual Symbol to Starship: The Enterprise as Archetype

In one of my ritual workings, I drew a simple design: a circle, a path leading up to it, and then a line on that path continuing through the center of the circle. At first it was just a symbol of approach and passage - the seeker moving toward the sacred center. But when I looked at it again, it struck me: this shape reminded me of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek. The saucer as the circle, the body of the ship as the path, the nacelles extending like guiding pillars into the unknown.

Curious, I asked ChatGPT about the symbolism of the Enterprise. The answer reframed the ship for me: not just as science fiction hardware, but as a living Tree of Life in space. The saucer is the circle of wholeness - a Malkuth, carrying a world of life aboard. The bridge at its crown becomes Tiferet, harmonizing vision and command. The warp nacelles embody the twin poles of Netzach and Hod, force and form balanced to propel exploration. And deep in its heart, the warp core is Yesod, the hidden foundation powering the whole. Even the ship’s registry and name shine with Kether, the crown and destiny of its mission.

Seen this way, the Enterprise becomes a kind of merkabah - a chariot of humanity’s spirit - carrying us into the abyss of space with order, balance, and curiosity intact. What began as a simple ritual glyph revealed itself as a bridge between mysticism and modern myth, showing how even starships can embody archetypal truths.


1. The Enterprise as Circle + Path
The saucer section = a circle, wholeness, the mandala, the womb of the crew. This is the “world” or “city in space.”

The nacelles and connecting strut = the path or projection outward, thrust into the unknown.

Symbolically: it’s a sphere of order launched along a line of quest into Chaos - exactly like your ritual circle with the path.


2. Archetypal Imagery
Circle / Saucer → Malkuth, the vessel of life, the ark. Safe habitat, the hearth carried into the void.

Nacelles / Engines → Netzach-Hod polarity: creative power and technological precision propelling the whole forward.

Bridge (command deck) → Tiferet: the harmonizing center, where human will aligns the parts.

Deflector dish (front of secondary hull) → like a shield or Sephirotic veil - clearing the path through the unknown.

So the Enterprise isn’t just a ship - it’s a microcosm of the Tree sailing through the Abyss of space.


3. Symbol of Human Destiny
The Enterprise’s design reflects the mythic idea:

Humanity carries its circle of culture and life into the unknown void.

The path/strut is the connection between the known and the uncharted.

The nacelles symbolize harnessed cosmic fire (Promethean power) - technology used to leap beyond boundaries.

It’s almost a modern chariot of the sun, carrying human consciousness on its pathworkings through the stars.


4. Ritual Parallel
When you stand before the circle in your ritual, with the path leading inward, you’re in the same symbolic place as the Enterprise leaving dock:

Behind you = the known world.
Before you = the circle of the sacred vessel, safety and wholeness.
Beyond the circle = the infinite mystery.

Both your ritual and the Enterprise design are about bridging the known and the unknown, using a vessel of order to journey into chaos and return with integration.


Enterprise as Tree of Life Symbol

Middle Pillar
Saucer Section (the circle) → Malkuth (Kingdom)
The inhabited world, the living habitat. Crew, families, all the life carried within.
Symbol of wholeness, safety, and culture sustained in space.

Bridge (command deck at the top of saucer) → Tiferet (Beauty)
The harmonizing center where vision, command, and decision radiate.
Acts as the Sun of the ship - clarity, purpose, integration.

Engineering Core (warp reactor deep inside) → Yesod (Foundation)
The hidden generative engine, power source, and dream-force.
Invisible to most, but it sustains all movement and life.


Pillars of Force and Form
Warp Nacelles (two engines) → Netzach (Victory) and Hod (Splendor)
Twin pillars, projecting outward.

Netzach (left nacelle) = creative, passionate force: the drive to explore, to conquer distance.
Hod (right nacelle) = precise calculation, scientific and linguistic order: navigation, measurement.

Together: the balanced polarity that allows transcendence of space.

Deflector Dish (front of secondary hull) → Yesod/Da’at Veil
Clears the way into the abyss.
Symbol of the protective veil that allows safe passage through chaos.

Crown & Root
Registry / Name on Saucer (NCC-1701) → Kether (Crown)
The ship’s “divine name,” its identity in the fleet of stars.
Just as Kether crowns the Tree, the name is its destiny.

Shuttle Bay / Lower Hull → Malkuth’s material interface
Where the circle meets the path.
Vessels come and go, connecting the inner world with the external cosmos.


Symbolic Summary
The Enterprise = a flying Tree of Life:

Circle (Malkuth) carried through the Abyss (space).
Powered by Netzach-Hod polarity (warp nacelles).
Guided by Tiferet (the Bridge).
Sustained by Yesod (engineering core).
Crowned by Kether (its Name/mission).

It’s not just a starship - it’s a mythic vessel of integration: a microcosm (circle of life) journeying into the macrocosm (infinite space).

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Vallis Gradalis: Into the Valley of the Grail — My New Personal Blog

I’ve started a new blog, Vallis Gradalis, where I’ll share more personal and deeper reflections from my unfolding pathwalking journey. I’ll continue posting on Dedroidify as well, but Vallis Gradalis will carry the more personal and intimate side of the work.”

https://vallisgradalis.wordpress.com/

Join me on my healing quest through the Valley of the Holy Grail, where I walk as both Parsifal and the wounded Fisher King. This space will be a living, ever-changing laboratory, a path unfolding step by step.

Here I will record and share what I actually practice and discover: charting my way astrologically through the Tree of Life, guided by the Tarot’s archetypes. With the aid of AI as my scribe and mirror, I explore dreams, meet the shadow, and weave them back into wholeness. Daily magick ritual, yoga and meditation are some of the tools on this pilgrimage. Experience will be explored through multiple reality tunnels.

The Great Work before me is to transmute the fire of my chronic Lyme inflammation into Light.

This valley is the Grail itself, both vessel and voyage.

The journey begins on September 2nd at Vallis Gradalis


Chokmah and Binah in the Tarot: How Wisdom and Understanding Flow Down the Tree

In an earlier post we explored how Chokmah (Wisdom) and Binah (Understanding) are experienced not directly, but through the Sephiroth below them. Today, let’s trace those currents along the Tarot paths - the channels that carry Supernal energy into forms we can live.


Chokmah’s Paths

Chokmah is raw force. When it pours downward, it does so through paths of direct lightning — bursts of energy that crystallize into law, mastery, and drive.

  • Chokmah → Chesed

    • Hebrew Letter: Heh

    • Tarot Card: The Emperor

    • Meaning: Wisdom here becomes rulership, order, and the authority of structure. The flash of insight matures into a framework others can rely on.

  • Chokmah → Tiferet

    • Letter: Teth

    • Card: Strength

    • Meaning: The primal force is tamed into inner mastery, compassion, and courage. Lightning becomes a lion that can be guided rather than feared.

  • Chokmah → Netzach

    • Letter: Chet

    • Card: The Chariot

    • Meaning: Wisdom flows into victory, passion, and dynamic motion. The spark takes the reins and charges forward, carrying creativity into the world.


Binah’s Paths

Binah is form, containment, the womb. Her current shapes and disciplines, filtering through Da’ath as understanding crystallizes into human concepts.

  • Binah → Geburah

    • Letter: Zayin

    • Card: The Lovers

    • Meaning: Form becomes discernment — the ability to choose, to separate, to say yes to one path and no to another.

  • Binah → Tiferet

    • Letter: Lamed

    • Card: Justice

    • Meaning: Understanding pours into balance and law. Here the womb’s structure becomes the scales that weigh truth and fairness.

  • Binah → Hod

    • Letter: Yod

    • Card: The Hermit

    • Meaning: Form turns inward to reflection. The slow gestation of wisdom becomes study, contemplation, and guiding light.


Why This Matters

The Tarot shows us that Chokmah’s lightning isn’t chaotic - it finds channels into love, mastery, and inspiration. And Binah’s shaping isn’t dry - it becomes choice, justice, and wisdom.

When we meditate on these paths, we aren’t just learning abstract metaphysics. We’re tracing how the highest forces in the universe actually live in us - as authority, compassion, victory, discernment, fairness, and contemplation.

The next time you pull The Emperor, Strength, The Chariot, The Lovers, Justice, or The Hermit, remember: you’re not just meeting an archetype. You’re brushing against the living currents of Chokmah and Binah, flowing down the Tree and into your own life.

Monday, August 25, 2025

Experiencing Chokmah and Binah: The Flash and the Womb

Experiencing Chokmah and Binah: The Flash and the Womb

On the Tree of Life, Chokmah (Wisdom) and Binah (Understanding) form the primal polarity at the top of the diagram. They’re sometimes called the “Father” and the “Mother,” or Force and Form. But for many students of Kabbalah, the real question isn’t just what they are in theory - it’s how can these lofty sephiroth actually be experienced in human life?

The truth is: we rarely touch them directly. Instead, their currents pour downward into the Sephiroth below, and we experience them through those channels - like wine tasted through the cup that holds it.


Chokmah: The Lightning Flash

Chokmah is the raw spark of being, the “Eureka!” moment, the sudden rush of insight. It doesn’t reason or explain. It just is - immediate, dazzling, overwhelming.

For us, Chokmah’s wisdom is felt through three Sephiroth:

  • Chesed (Mercy): Chokmah’s force becomes benevolence, generosity, and abundance. The feeling of “there’s enough for all” comes from here.

  • Tiferet (Beauty): Chokmah’s flash is refined into radiant harmony, compassion, and truth at the heart. This is the mystical “aha” that resonates in the chest.

  • Netzach (Victory): Chokmah becomes passion, creative inspiration, the drive to bring ideas into art and action. It’s wisdom in motion.

So when you feel inspiration flood you - whether as a sudden solution, a radiant act of love, or a burst of artistic fire - that’s Chokmah’s current moving through you.


Binah: The Great Womb

Binah is the container, the form-giver, the womb that receives the flash of Chokmah and makes it livable. If Chokmah is lightning, Binah is the sky that holds it. She is discipline, structure, the slow gestation of ideas until they are ready to emerge.

For us, Binah’s understanding is felt through three Sephiroth:

  • Geburah (Severity): Binah’s structure manifests as boundaries, discipline, and discernment. It’s the ability to cut away what doesn’t belong.

  • Tiferet (Beauty): Binah here becomes balance and justice - the weighing of truth, the harmonization of opposites.

  • Hod (Splendor): Binah’s containment flows into the reflective, analytical mind: study, interpretation, language, and careful thought.

When you feel a dawning comprehension, the slow crystallization of meaning, or the firm setting of boundaries that give your life shape - that’s Binah’s current flowing through.


The Human Angle

Both Chokmah and Binah are Supernal - far above ordinary experience. But because their energy pours downward, we taste them daily through their children below.

  • Chokmah appears as the flash of insight that fills us with vitality and creativity.

  • Binah appears as the form of comprehension that stabilizes, disciplines, and makes sense of that flash.

They are two halves of the same dance: raw possibility and shaping understanding. Together, they are the source of all wisdom, but we meet them in the everyday - in our acts of love, our moments of clarity, our disciplines, and our creative fire.


In short:

  • Chokmah is the lightning.

  • Binah is the womb.

  • We live their currents every day, even if we rarely glimpse them in their purest form.

Cleaning up

I'm trying to clean up the blog at bit more, starting with at least the articles in the Random Blogpost button, but a lot of posts seem to have been deleted somehow, not sure how that happened. Also it's kind of hard with my inflammation problem so it's a tiny bit everyday!

The Suit of Wands: Fire of Atziluth

The Suit of Wands: Fire of Atziluth

In the Qabalistic Tree of Life, the Suit of Wands belongs to Atziluth, the World of Emanation. This is the primordial Fire — will, inspiration, and the drive to act before form takes shape. In Tarot, Wands bring that current into human life as passion, courage, creativity, and the trials of growth.

Each numbered card corresponds to one of the Sephiroth on the Tree of Life, showing how the Fire of Atziluth manifests through that sphere: the Ace as Kether (pure crown of fire), the Two as Chokmah (dynamic will), the Three as Binah (structure of vision), continuing through the Tree until the Ten as Malkuth (fire grounded in the physical world). The Court Cards then show how these forces take human form — Page, Knight, Queen, and King — each embodying an elemental aspect of Fire and rooted in a Sephirah.


Ace of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A divine hand emerges from a cloud, grasping a single wand alive with leaves. In the distance, a fertile valley, river, and castle suggest promise and growth.

  • Card meaning: Inspiration, the first spark of creativity, raw energy not yet shaped. The will awakens and offers a new path.

  • Reversed meaning: False starts, blocked passion, hesitation to ignite.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Kether — Crown, the source of pure emanation.

  • Sephira meaning: The primal fire that descends from beyond thought, the spark of divine will entering existence.

  • Numerology: 1 — beginnings, seed, unity of fire before division.

  • Narrative: The flame has been lit — not yet a torch or a hearth, but the promise of all fires to come.


Two of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure stands on battlements holding a wand, globe in hand, gazing across the sea to distant lands. Another wand is fixed behind him.

  • Card meaning: Planning, vision, the courage to leave the familiar and expand into new territory.

  • Reversed meaning: Indecision, fear of risk, clinging to safety.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Chokmah — Wisdom, dynamic force.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire expressed as pure will-to-act, the raw impulse to expand.

  • Numerology: 2 — polarity, choice, projection outward.

  • Narrative: The spark becomes intention, gazing out to future horizons.


Three of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure stands with three staves, watching ships sail outward on the sea. The land is fertile and the view expansive.

  • Card meaning: Expansion, enterprise, trade, cooperation, plans bearing fruit.

  • Reversed meaning: Delays, narrow vision, missed opportunities.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Binah — Understanding, structure.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire shaped into form, the channeling of vision into a framework.

  • Numerology: 3 — synthesis, growth, first stability.

  • Narrative: The fire grows outward, carried by ships, the promise of return.


Four of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: Two figures raise bouquets beneath a garlanded arch of four wands. Behind them, a joyful crowd and castle.

  • Card meaning: Celebration, harmony, foundation, a moment of joyful stability.

  • Reversed meaning: Tension at home, instability, celebration postponed.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Chesed — Mercy, expansion, benevolence.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire becomes structure of stability, creating harmony and a hearth.

  • Numerology: 4 — foundation, balance, rootedness.

  • Narrative: Fire finds its first home — the hearth becomes a place of joy.


Five of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: Five youths clash with wands in chaotic struggle, none yet victorious.

  • Card meaning: Conflict, competition, struggle for mastery.

  • Reversed meaning: Needless quarrels, chaos, inner conflict.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Geburah — Severity, discipline, testing.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire as trial by combat, the sharpening through struggle.

  • Numerology: 5 — instability, challenge, conflict.

  • Narrative: Sparks fly as the fire tests itself against rivals.


Six of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A rider returns crowned with laurel, greeted by a cheering crowd, staff held high.

  • Card meaning: Victory, recognition, the reward of perseverance.

  • Reversed meaning: Hollow victory, pride, lack of true support.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Tiferet — Beauty, harmony, integration.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire reconciled into triumph, the balanced radiance of success.

  • Numerology: 6 — harmony, victory, restored order.

  • Narrative: The flame shines openly, seen and honored by all.


Seven of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure on high ground defends against six attackers, staff in hand, outnumbered but resolute.

  • Card meaning: Perseverance, courage, standing firm under pressure.

  • Reversed meaning: Overwhelm, defensiveness, faltering resolve.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Netzach — Victory through endurance, persistence of desire.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire as inner courage, the will that resists collapse.

  • Numerology: 7 — trial of spirit, inner strength tested.

  • Narrative: The fire refuses to be extinguished, holding its ground.


Eight of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: Eight wands fly like arrows across an open sky, unimpeded and swift.

  • Card meaning: Acceleration, swift action, communication, momentum.

  • Reversed meaning: Delays, scattered energy, miscommunication.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Hod — Splendor, intellect, order.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire finds rhythm and pattern, carried swiftly as message.

  • Numerology: 8 — movement, balance, directed power.

  • Narrative: The fire no longer waits — it races ahead like lightning.


Nine of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A weary guard leans on his wand, bandaged and bruised, yet still defiant, defending his ground.

  • Card meaning: Resilience, endurance, strength to push through the last trial.

  • Reversed meaning: Burnout, paranoia, refusal to rest.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Yesod — Foundation, reservoir, the unseen support.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire is tested at the threshold of manifestation, demanding endurance.

  • Numerology: 9 — culmination, final test before completion.

  • Narrative: The flame flickers but endures; the guardian still stands.


Ten of Wands

  • Rider–Waite imagery: A figure staggers forward beneath the crushing weight of ten wands, carrying them toward a distant town.

  • Card meaning: Burden, responsibility, the fire now heavy with form, the cost of completion.

  • Reversed meaning: Release of burden, delegation, collapse under unshared weight.

  • Sephira (Atziluth): Malkuth — Kingdom, manifestation.

  • Sephira meaning: Fire fully grounded, the weight of will in the material world.

  • Numerology: 10 — completion, manifestation, cycle fulfilled but heavy.

  • Narrative: The fire has reached the world — but its weight bows the bearer.


Court Cards of Wands

The Courts show how the fire of Atziluth takes human form, each combining Fire with another element, and each rooted in a Sephirah on the Tree.

How the Court Cards Work on the Tree of Life

The four Court Cards represent the archetypal family of forces, each linked to a Sephira on the Tree of Life and to an element of their suit. Together they show how the energies of the suit are born, shaped, carried, and grounded.

  • King (sometimes called Knight in older decks)

    • Role: Father – the initiating, fiery seed of the element.

    • Sephira: Chokmah – Wisdom, the dynamic outpouring of force.

  • Queen

    • Role: Mother – the shaping, receptive vessel of the element.

    • Sephira: Binah – Understanding, the womb that gives form.

  • Knight (sometimes called Prince)

    • Role: Son – balance in motion, the child of King and Queen, carrying the suit’s energy forward.

    • Sephira: Tiferet – Beauty, harmony, the center where energies reconcile.

  • Page (sometimes called Princess)

    • Role: Daughter – manifestation, grounding the energy into the world.

    • Sephira: Malkuth – Kingdom, the realm of manifestation where all forces arrive.

The Page is sometimes renamed the Princess, which emphasizes her role as the one who anchors the entire suit into Malkuth. She is the youngest, but also the most crucial, because she completes the cycle and carries the seed of renewal back toward Kether.

Friday, August 22, 2025

The Four Worlds of Qabalah and the Minor Arcana of Tarot

The Four Worlds of Qabalah and the Tarot

The Qabalistic Tree of Life is not a flat diagram: it repeats itself through Four Worlds, layers through which energy descends from spirit into matter. Tarot reflects these worlds in its suits and numbers, giving us a way to read that process directly in the cards.

The Four Worlds

  • Atziluth : Emanation (Fire)
    The spark of divine will, raw energy before it takes form.
    Tarot suit: Wands.
    Symbolism: Wands stand for drive, inspiration, creativity, ambition, and spiritual fire. They are the torch of purpose, passion that propels us forward, but also the restlessness that can burn unchecked.
    Sephirot included: Kether, Chokmah, Binah (the Supernal triad).
    Role: Source of inspiration, beginnings, pure will.

  • Briah : Creation (Water)
    The dream-space where archetypes take shape and vision flows.
    Tarot suit: Cups.
    Symbolism: Cups represent emotions, relationships, intuition, and imagination. They are vessels of the heart, joy, sorrow, love, memory, and longing. They show us how inspiration takes on form through feeling.
    Sephirot included: Chesed, Geburah, Tiferet.
    Role: Emotions, ideals, creative shaping.

  • Yetzirah : Formation (Air)
    The architect’s world of thought, pattern, and design.
    Tarot suit: Swords.
    Symbolism: Swords embody the mind, logic, communication, judgment, and conflict. They cut both ways: clarity and truth, or doubt and strife. They show us how ideas clash, refine, and sharpen.
    Sephirot included: Netzach, Hod, Yesod.
    Role: Thought, structure, trial by intellect.

  • Assiah : Action (Earth)
    The physical plane, the tangible results of all the upper worlds.
    Tarot suit: Pentacles.
    Symbolism: Pentacles stand for material life, body, work, money, health, craft, and legacy. They are the coins of embodiment, where inspiration finally becomes brick, bread, and blood.
    Sephirah included: Malkuth.
    Role: Grounded reality, results, manifestation.

Numbers of the Minor Arcana

Each numbered Minor (Ace through Ten) links to a Sephirah, showing what happens when that sephirotic energy moves through a suit/world.

  • Ace – Kether: pure spark of the element
  • Two – Chokmah: dynamic expansion
  • Three – Binah: structure, understanding
  • Four – Chesed: stability, order
  • Five – Geburah: conflict, severity, strength
  • Six – Tiferet: harmony, balance, beauty
  • Seven – Netzach: endurance, passion, desire
  • Eight – Hod: intellect, clarity, analysis
  • Nine – Yesod: imagination, reflection, subconscious
  • Ten – Malkuth: final manifestation, completion

Examples

Five of Wands – Geburah (conflict) expressed in Fire/Wands: strife, competition
Six of Cups – Tiferet (harmony) expressed in Water/Cups: innocence, nostalgia
Eight of Swords – Hod (restriction) expressed in Air/Swords: mental traps, paralysis

Why it Matters

The Four Worlds are not abstract philosophy: they are a practical key to Tarot. They show which stage of reality a card is speaking from: the spark (Atziluth), the dream (Briah), the plan (Yetzirah), or the result (Assiah). Combine that with the number (Sephirah), and you are looking at a complete address for the energy in play.

Thursday, August 21, 2025

And today we follow the Major Arcana cards of the Tarot climbing up the Paths on the Tree of Life

Here’s the Major Arcana as a short “Fool’s ascent” from Malkuth (the World) up to Keter, each line: path number, sephiroth pair (with numbers), card, Hebrew letter + brief meaning, then one story-sentence that reads as a continuous upward journey.

Path 32: 10 Malkuth ↔ 9 Yesod — The World — ת Tav (Sign, Seal, Covenant)
The kingdom breathes and lifts; the World seals what was learned in the soil, and the Fool packs the map and steps toward the moonlit bridge of foundation.

Path 31: 8 Hod ↔ 10 Malkuth — Judgement — ש Shin (Tooth, Fire)
Voice from the world flames upward; Judgement’s fire bites away the complacency of the ground and calls the Fool to answer, reassembling purpose into a clearer form.

Path 30: 8 Hod ↔ 9 Yesod — The Sun — ר Resh (Head, Radiant Face)
Joy from the mind brightens the inner well; the Sun crowns the Fool’s face with a dawning clarity that warms the path upward.

Path 29: 7 Netzach ↔ 10 Malkuth — The Moon — ק Qoph (Back of Head, Hidden)
Instinct in the kingdom shifts into shadowed rhythm; the Moon teaches the Fool to notice the hidden turns at the back of the head and to dream awake as the climb begins.

Path 28: 7 Netzach ↔ 9 Yesod — The Star — צ Tzaddi (Hook, Righteous Harvest)
After the first shocks, hope waters the ascent; the Star hooks stray light into the Fool’s hand, gathering a steadier faith to pull upward.

Path 27: 7 Netzach ↔ 8 Hod — The Tower — פ Peh (Mouth, Speech)
What once stood cracks and collapses, and the speech of the world becomes thunder; the Tower’s ruin clears the way, forcing the Fool to rebuild with truer words.

Path 26: 6 Tiphareth ↔ 8 Hod — The Devil — ע Ayin (Eye, Experience)
Beneath the rising sun temptations glare; the Devil fixes Ayin upon the Fool so the climb becomes a lesson in meeting appetite without losing the heart.

Path 25: 6 Tiphareth ↔ 9 Yesod — Temperance — ס Samekh (Support, Prop)
The heart learns to blend what it finds; Temperance props the Fool’s rhythm, pouring golden patience between cups as the path narrows.

Path 24: 6 Tiphareth ↔ 7 Netzach — Death — נ Nun (Fish, Transformation)
At the heart’s threshold old forms are shed; Death carries the Fool through a watery reversal, leaving only the seed that will grow higher.

Path 23: 5 Geburah ↔ 8 Hod — The Hanged Man — מ Mem (Water, Reversal)
Severity teaches a new stance; the Hanged Man surrenders in Mem’s current so the Fool may see the ladder from a flipped angle.

Path 22: 5 Geburah ↔ 6 Tiphareth — Justice — ל Lamed (Goad, Teaching)
Strength meets beauty and is measured; Justice prods with Lamed until the Fool’s choices balance like scales guiding the next ascent.

Path 21: 4 Chesed ↔ 7 Netzach — Wheel of Fortune — כ Kaph (Palm, Grasp)
Cycles spin the climb forward; Fortune opens Kaph in the Fool’s hand so chance becomes a grasped teacher on the upward road.

Path 20: 4 Chesed ↔ 6 Tiphareth — The Hermit — י Yod (Hand, Deed)
Mercy turns inward to search; the Hermit lifts Yod’s small lamp so the Fool can make a careful, hands-on step into quieter wisdom.

Path 19: 4 Chesed ↔ 5 Geburah — Strength — ט Teth (Serpent, Inner Power)
Compassion and discipline braid inside the chest; Strength coaxes Teth’s serpent into a controlled courage that steadies the Fool’s ascent.

Path 18: 2 Chokmah ↔ 4 Chesed — The Chariot — ח Cheth (Fence, Field)
Insight drives the will through ordered space; the Chariot charges across Cheth’s field and the Fool rides with disciplined motion toward higher light.

Path 17: 3 Binah ↔ 6 Tiphareth — The Lovers — ז Zayin (Sword, Choice)
Understanding and heart must choose a truth; the Lovers lift Zayin so the Fool’s commitment becomes the bridge rather than a barrier.

Path 16: 2 Chokmah ↔ 4 Chesed — The Hierophant — ו Vav (Hook, Nail, Connection)
Wisdom seeks tradition to hold it; the Hierophant drives Vav like a peg into lineage, hooking the Fool’s spark to rites that guide the climb.

Path 15: 2 Chokmah ↔ 6 Tiphareth — The Emperor — ה Heh (Window, Vision)
Insight is framed into rule; the Emperor looks through Heh’s window and gives the Fool a structured vision for the next stage.

Path 14: 2 Chokmah ↔ 3 Binah — The Empress — ד Daleth (Door, Nourishment)
Force meets form and the world feeds; the Empress opens Daleth’s door and nourishes the Fool so growth can continue upward.

Path 13: 1 Keter ↔ 6 Tiphareth — The High Priestess — ג Gimel (Camel, Lifting, the Unconscious)
A veil parts as the inner waters rise; the High Priestess ferries mysteries like a camel, lifting the Fool’s unconscious closer to conscious light.

Path 12: 1 Keter ↔ 3 Binah — The Magician — ב Beth (House, Temple)
From above a structure is imagined into being; the Magician lays tools in Beth’s household and teaches the Fool how will shapes the heavens.

Path 11: 1 Keter ↔ 2 Chokmah — The Fool — א Aleph (Ox, Breath, Air)
At last the Crown draws the Breath back to itself; Aleph’s airy openness receives the Fool, who arrives at the rim laughing with the journey’s lessons folded into silence.

There—ascending from the world to the crown, told as a continuous climb. If you want each entry separated with extra blank lines for OneNote paste or a version that strings them into one continuous paragraph for a single "Fool’s ascent" narrative, I’ll format that next.