Accept Jesus & forget Tolle or Chuck Norris will kick your ass

Oprah's new Easter by Chuck Norris

This post is directly related to the previous one. Here's the funniest bit of the Chuck article:

"As C.S.. Lewis -- the great Oxford scholar and writer of "The Chronicles of Narnia," who was once an avid atheist -- wrote:

"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a good moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic -- on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse.

"You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

That might not be what Oprah, Tolle or others around the world want to hear on their webinar, but he is everything we all need to obtain peace with God and peace with one another."

Yes obviously, that's what 2000 years of history have clearly shown!

Geez, here's another article by this wise man: Would Jesus support War
The answer according to Chuck is yes, duh!

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." G-sus
A sword is also a freaking metaphor for "intellect" & "reason". Ironically...

Hilarious site: Chuck Norris is the second coming of Jesus Christ, deal with it.

If you don't think this is funny, let me just pull this Walker Texas Ranger lever...

update: Holy shit Chuck Norris woke up exo-politically!