Sunday, March 25, 2012

5 Geburah - Strength (Will)

Mars, destruction, warrior and destroyer of evil.
Warrior King on Chariot. Kinetic Force.
Why in female pillar of Severity? The positive builds up, the Negative breaks down. The positive is a kinetic force, the negative is a static force.
Gods: Mars, Ares, Mars, Tyr, Vishnu, Horus, all martial Gods. Day: Tuesday.
Color: Red. Jewel: Ruby. Plant: Oak, nux vomiga, nettle. Perfume: Tobacco. Animal: Basilisk.
TITLE: Geburah, Strength, Severity. (Hebrew spelling: Gimel, Beth, Vau, Resh, Heh.)
MAGICAL IMAGE: A mighty warrior in his chariot.
SITUATION ON THE TREE: In the centre of the Pillar of Severity.
YETZIRATIC TEXT: The Fifth Path is called the Radical Intelligence because
it resembles Unity, uniting itself to Binah, Understanding, which emanates from
the primordial depths of Chokmah, Wisdom.
TITLES GIVEN TO GEBURAH: Din: Justice. Pachad: Fear.
GOD-NAME: Elohim Gebor.
HOST OF ANGELS: Seraphim, Fiery Serpents.
VIRTUE: Energy. Courage.
VICE: Cruelty. Destruction.
SYMBOLS: The Pentagon. The Five-petalled Tudor Rose. The Sword. The Spur. The Scourge. The Chain.
TAROT CARDS: The four Fives.
FIVE OF CUPS: Loss in pleasure.
FIVE OF PENTACLES: Earthly trouble.
BRIAH: Scarlet red.
YETZIRAH: Bright scarlet.
ASSIAH: Red, flecked with black.

Geburah is the most dynamic and forceful of all the Sephiroth, but it is also the most highly disciplined. Indeed, the military discipline, presided over by the god of War, is a synonym for the sternest kind of control that can be imposed upon human beings. Every boxer knows that if he gets angry and starts fighting instead of boxing, the odds are against him. The initiate of Mars is essentially the Happy Warrior, the initiate who has passed through the grade of Tiphareth and gained equilibrium. He fights without malice; he spares the weak and wounded; he does not set Out to destroy the law but to see to it that it is properly fulfilled. He is the corrector of the balance, and as such is always the defender of the weak and oppressed.

Alan Moore Magick Art and Shamanism

Circuit 4 Megapost Socio-Sexual Moral Civilized Lover/Parent

4. The "Moral" Socio-Sexual Circuit.

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

Druid Journal: Who is a viable mate? Who is not? What are the cultural restrictions on mating? What is “right”? What is “wrong”? This circuit is activated during adolescence, as one might expect. A positive imprint predisposes the individual to a playful sexuality and a “live and let live” morality. A negative imprint does the opposite.

Robert Anton Wilson: This is imprinted by the first orgasm-mating experiences at puberty and is conditioned by tribal taboos. It processes sexual pleasure, local definitions of "right" and "wrong," reproduction, adult-parental personality (sex role) and nurture of the young.

Circuit 4 sheet
Leary: Socio-Sexual
Gurdjieff: False personality
Freud: Phallic
Berne: Parent
Piaget: Formal Operational
Roddenberry: Captain Kirk
Imprint sites: Left Neo-Cortex
Intelligence: Civilized
Reality: Social
Chakra: Anahata Heart Love
Element: Fire
Medium: Code of Ethics
Education: Adolescence, Adulthood and Collectivization
Moralistic - Lover/Parent
Relationship to Sex/Lover/Parent
The Will!

The Socio-Sexual Winner and Loser scripts:
Winner: "Love, and do what thou wilt."
Loser: "Everything I like is illegal, immoral, or fattening."

Sex-positive: joyous, transcendental, bright eyes & bushy tails
Sex-negative: problematic, disturbed, zombie-like appearance
note: negative imprint is the criminal born-to-lose type / jekyll-hyde dualism

"The human species is undergoing a radical change, of which the Internet is almost a test run. The Internet is a way to practice what it is that we're going to have to do for real, which is deal with privacy when we can all read each others' thoughts, deal with a global community when when we're all realising that we're part of the same thing. The Internet is like a good, dry, safe way for scared white people to experience community again, after we've been so isolated through television."
Douglas Rushkoff"

"So then, the relationship of self to other is the complete realization that loving yourself is impossible without loving everything defined as other than yourself."
Alan Watts

This is imprinted by the first orgasm-mating experiences at puberty and is conditioned by tribal taboos. It processes sexual pleasure, local definitions of "right" and "wrong," reproduction, adult-parental personality (sex role) and nurture of the young.

The development of these circuits as the brain evolved through evolution, and as each domesticated primate (human)
brain recapitulates evolution3 in growing from infancy to adulthood, makes possible gene-pool survival, mammalian sociobiology (pecking order, or politics) and transmission of culture.

Antero Alli:
Development of personality in context to society. Social needs for belonging, getting along with people, developing friendships, romance, courtships, partnerships, marriages, domestication, family, and those morals and ethics maintaining community interest. The push and pull of attracting and repulsing forces -- estrogen, testosterone & other growth hormones -- influencing likes, dislikes, procreative love, mating rituals, domestic and community structures, and the morales and beliefs surrounding relations with others. When over-emphasized, personal identity homogenizes, or blends, into herd or tribal mentality. Social and Moral Addictions. When frustrated, the individual experiences alienation, marginalization and degrees of abandonment by the tribe, sometimes resulting in "psychopathic criminal retribution". As social needs are satisfied, a well-adjusted personality finds "its people" while defining and claiming its unique behavioral and ethical code amidst a society far too complex to always condone them.

Social rituals, parties and gatherings. Cultural events and concerts. Church. Any "drugs" delivering social or community acceptance or sexual approval in exchange for submission to externally-imposed behaviorial standards and moralities. Most television programs. Organized Religion. Mass Media. Corporate Advertising. The Welfare State. Social Security. Fascism.

Loss of personality, autonomy and self as individual identity. Guilt complex, ie., confusion between the morality of others and one's own ethics.

"Television... The more you watch people behave immorally, the more you consider the behavior normal and permissible. This may not apply to you personally, but when the images are presented night after night, year after year, to a population of millions of people, there are effects on that population."

So gather around, and see what the day brings, and see what makes you smile, and see what makes you sing. And never, nevermind, the things that people say, they'll never go away, never go away.

Leary's description: "Circuit four is triggered through hormonal activation. These emotion-chemicals mutate the body into the adult form. As the earthling body transforms, alarming and dramatic emotional changes occur. Not to worry... These physical and emotional outbursts are actually quite normal. They are necessary exercises in opening the fourth or "Heart" circuit."
What you'll find: Welcome! This is the place to imprint social roles and develop your civilization. Put on your "responsible adult member of society" mask! Find your family unit. Interact with them. Share food. Look like you belong. Conform to their society (it's okay here).

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly,
while bad people will find a way around the laws."

Whereas 2nd circuit deals with who bosses who, 4th deals with who is cool. What this comes down to is that depending on whether someone is cool or not, you'd let them get close to you or not, running a spectrum from not talking to someone at all (the snub) to having sex with them, with many subtle shades in between. It goes both ways- how cool are you? Are there people that you aren't cool enough to talk to? "Oh, I could never ask HER/HIM out..." The imprint you take here is how cool you feel, and how hard you have to work to feel that way.

Everyone has these circuits, but some people get stuck on one or another of them, usually because they've got some problem to work out in that area. Often one circuit gets to be a surrogate for another (especially if the other is underdeveloped) - the classic example is the pathetic (i.e. poor 2nd circuit imprint) nerd who tries to out-talk his buddies to show how smart he is (3rd circuit), in order to be an authority to them (2nd circuit dominance).

One of the ideas that came up in LSD research was the idea that you reach a state of internal linkflux in which new imprints can be taken. This is very much in agreement with ideas about set and setting, but as most people who have taken LSD agree, while everything seems to change after the experience, after a while you slip back into the old patterns (witness all the flower children who, unlike the few with real dedication, slipped back to become businessmen of the 80's).

Whether this slipback is really inherent in the function of the LSD trip is not certain, though - it may be caused by going back into one's regular environment, which has been shaped by everything one was before. Under the pressure of conformity to the old status quo, one slips back.

Leary felt that the goal was to work out the circuits so that one had imprints that led to a happy, healthy life, but without having to always have things one way - people who have to always be on top never learn about service, those who always have to feel secure never learn to take risks, etc. Ultimately, the circuits would be there to plug into and out of at Will, while one navigated through the upper circuits:

The upper circuits deal with mystical, psychic, or paranormal consciousness. They are built on the internal linkfoundation of the lower circuits, almost as 'overdriven' versions of them. Interestingly, they correspond well with ideas from many spritual traditions.

We have so much to learn from each other,
so many different people,
so many different thoughts.

Cybercraft: Circuit Four is the next center of operation or mode of thought. This center is approximated by the sex hormones awakening in the teen's body. Once a sexual awakening occurs society has a perceived duty to regulate sexual expression. This circuit could be called the Guilt Circuit since it is mostly used to control individuals, not enhance human life. Imprint vulnerability is acute. The first sexual signals to turn on the adolescent nervous system remain fixed for life, defining the individual's sexuality.
They lurch about, the bewildered possessors of new bodies awakening to a new rhythm. Sex! As any adult can tell, this time is delicate. Accidents do happen which lend to the general imprinting which may or may not contribute to a positive experience. Accidents which impinge upon this imprint are just as effective as fully intended ones. Yet time moves on. The individual's sexuality develops. Parents and peers all have a say in the conditioning. Schools play a part in the learning process with sex education. Society itself takes a guiding role in Circuit Four defining what is and is not acceptable in our activities.
Circuit Four can be used in two ways to regulate other circuits. A Circuit Three social concern can be alleviated by threatening Circuit Four. Take away a human's opportunity for sex and they will consider their options. A still more useful way to modify an individual's behavior is to threaten their children. Circuit Four is the Parent stage. Society both enhances and threatens the parent with beneficial social programs while hinting at removal of benefits and children.
"No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee."
John Donne
Group Think

"The conscious and intelligent maniplulation of organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in a democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power in our country... We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested largely by men we have never heard of... We are dominated by a relatively small number of persons... It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind and who harness social forces and contrive new ways to bind and guide the world." Edward Bernays

"The sick individual finds himself at home with all other similarly sick individuals. the whole culture is geared to this kind of pathology. The result is that the average individual does not experience the separateness and isolation the fully schizophrenic person feels. He feels at ease among those suffer from the same deformation; in fact, it is the fully sane person who feels isolated int he insane society - and he may suffer so much from the incapacity to communicate that it is he who may become psychotic." Erich Fromm

"When in group narcissism, the object is not the individual but he group to which he belongs... The assertion that "my country" (or nation, or religion) is the most wonderful, the most cultural, the most powerful, the most peace-loving, etc. does not sound crazy at all; on the contrary, it sounds like an expression of patriotism, faith and loyalty." Erich Fromm

"The larger a society or confederacy, the greater the amalgamation of collective factors - which is typical of every large organization - the more aggraveted the moral and spiritual degeneration of the individual" Carl Gustav Jung

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway."
Mother Theresa

Be a world child, form a circle.

RAW: Since each of these tunnel-realities consists of biochemical imprints or matrices in the nervous system, each of them is specifically triggered by neuro-transmitters and other drugs.

Notice how drugs that stimulate the first four circuits, which are already activated, tend to be dangerously addictive, roughly ordered ascending from the first circuit.

To activate the first brain take an opiate. Mother Opium and Sister Morphine bring you down to cellular intelligence, bio-survival passivity, the floating consciousness of the newborn. (This is why Freudians identify opiate addiction with the desire to return to infancy.)

To activate the second tunnel-reality, take an abundant quantity of alcohol. Vertebrate territorial patterns and mammalian emotional politics immediately appear when the booze flows, as Thomas Nashe intuitively realized when he characterized the various alcohol states by animal labels: "ass drunk," "goat drunk," "swine drunk," "bear drunk," etc. To activate the third circuit, try coffee or tea, a high-protein diet, speed or cocaine. The specific neurotransmitter for circuit four has not been synthesized yet, but it is generated by the glands after pubescence and flows volcanically through the bloodstreams of adolescents.

None of these terrestrial drugs change basic biochemical imprints. The behaviors which they trigger are those which were wired into the nervous system during the first stages of imprint vulnerability. The circuit II drunk exhibits the emotional games or cons learned from parents in infancy. The circuit III "mind" never gets beyond the permutations and combinations of those tunnel-realities originally imprinted, or abstractions associated with the imprints through later conditioning. And so forth. But all this Pavlovian-Skinnerian robotism changes drastically and dramatically when we turn to the right lobe, the future circuits and extraterrestrial chemicals.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Maybe Valis

Borders (1989)

A philosophical flume ride through the physical, political and moral borders that inhibit the free movement of people and ideas. Mixing commentary, computer graphics, dramatisations, and investigative journalism, "BORDERS" probes the unsettling paradoxes behind immigration, drugs, Star Wars, and other topics.

Staring: Robert Anton Wilson, Michio Kaku, Margaret Randell, Juanita Kreps, Brian Freemantle & Steve Buscemi.

Written/Produced/Directed by: Merrill Alidighieri & Joe Tripician

4 Chesed (ake Chedulah/Gedulah) - Mercy (Love)

Second Trinity: Chesed, Geburah, Tiphareth - Ethical

Jupiter, lawgiver and beneficent ruler on throne. Ordering and preserving, organised force.
Planet: Jupiter. Gods: Zeus, Thord, Indra, and other Sky Gods. Day: Thursday.
Color: Blue. Jewel: Sapphire. Plant Olive: Shamrock. Perfume: Cedar. Animal: Unicorn.
TITLE: Chesed, Mercy. (Hebrew spelling: Cheth, Samech, Daleth.)
MAGICAL IMAGE: A mighty crowned and throned king. (he is seated in stability in a kingdom at peace, not going forth in his chariot to war, as is suggested by the magical image of Geburah.)
SITUATION ON THE TREE: In the centre of the Pillar of Mercy.
YETZIRATIC TEXT: The Fourth Path is called the Cohesive or Receptive
Intelligence because it contains all the Holy Powers, and from it emanate all the spiritual virtues with the most exalted essences. They emanate one from another by virtue of the Primordial Emanation, the Highest Crown, Kether.
TITLES GIVEN TO CHESED: Gedulah. Love. Majesty.
ARCHANGEL: Tzadkiel.
ORDER OF ANGELS: Chasmalim, Brilliant Ones.
MUNDANE CHAKRA: Tzedek, Jupiter.
VIRTUE: Obedience
VICE: Bigotry. Hypocrisy. Gluttony. Tyranny.
SYMBOLS: The solid figure - Tetrahedron. Pyramid. Equal armed Cross. Orb.
Wand. Sceptre. Crook.
TAROT CARDS: The four Fours.
FOUR OF WANDS : Perfected work.
FOUR OF CUPS: Pleasure.
FOUR OF SWORDS: Rest from strife.
FOUR OF PENTACLES: Earthly power.
BRIAH: Blue.
YETZIRAH: Deep purple.
ASSIAH: Deep azure, flecked yellow.
Seeing the big picture, see ahead, the formulation of the archetypal idea.
Chesed, then, reflects into Hod through the Christcentre of Tiphareth, just as Geburah reflects into Netzach. This teaches us a great deal, for it indicates that for consciousness to rise from form to force, and for force to descend to form, it must pass through the Centre of Equilibrium and Redemption, to which are assigned the Mysteries of the Crucifixion.
It is to the Sphere of Chesed that the exalted consciousness of the adept rises in his occult meditations; it is here that he receives the inspirations which he works uut on the planes of form. It is here that he meets the Masters as spiritual influences contacted telepathically, without any intermingling of personality. This is the true, and the highest,mode of contact with the Masters, contact with them as mind to mind in their own sphere of exalted consciousness.
The left arm, left hand, holds the orb, which signifies the orb itself and shows that all is held secure in the firm grasp of the ruler. Firmness. Chesed "Contains all the Holy Powers, and from it emanate all the spiritual virtues with the most exalted Essences."

Chesed and Geburah are both represented as Crowned figures.
We need Geburah's realism to balance Gedulah's idealism quite as much as we need to temper justice with mercy.

The analogy of physiology gives us a clear understanding of the significance of these two Sephiroth. Metabolism consists of anabolism, or the ingesting and assimilating of food and its building up into tissue, and katabolism, or the breaking down of tissue in active work and the output of energy. The by-products of katabolism are the fatigue-poisons which have to be eliminated from the blood by rest. The life-process is an everlasting uphuilding and downbreaking, and Geburah and Gedulah (another name for Chesed) represent these two processes in the Macrocosm.

Daath - Knowledge

"In this book it is spoken of the Sephiroth, and the Paths, of Spirits and Conjurations; of Gods, Spheres, Planes and many other things which may or may not exist. It is immaterial whether they exist or not. By doing certain things certain results follow ; students are most earnestly warned against attributing objective reality or philosophic validity to any of them."
— Aleister Crowley, Liber O vel Manus et Sagittae, reprinted in Magick
Issue 20 of Alan Moore's comic Promethea is devoted to Daath and the Abyss. In Moore's version there used to be a Sephira Daath and back then the Tree and the world were perfect. Something happened to Daath, it blew up, fell off the Tree or fell into disrepair. This is why the world is a bit of a disaster area. Moore includes two now defunct paths The Beggar and The Fountain, joining Chesed to Daath to Binah.
Moore develops the idea of a hole or a rip in the fabric of reality — The Crack. This was an idea developed by Grant Morrison in his comic The Filth. From The Filth : "The crack runs through evrything. And everyone. Without it we would be perfect, like angels, and as dull."
Grant Morrison said his Abyss experience was harrowing. He was physically and mentally ill and attempted suicide more than once.
The Abyss is where the magician meets himself. Hidden behind the veil of the Abyss is Daath, which means knowledge. Self-knowledge, higher knowledge, knowledge about knowledge.

Whatever it was the magician built on to climb this high, it was all arbitrary. The magician realises that a lot of human knowledge and activity are similiar. A lot of human knowledge and activity is 'made up'.

Traditionally Choronzon is associated with the Abyss. He is not a fanged, horned demon. He could be a TV programme, or a daydream. Choronzon represents wandering thoughts, which cause the magician to lose focus.

Conscious awareness or apprehension. The Mysterious, invisible Sephirah, which is never marked up on the Tree, is associated in the Western system with the nape of the neck, the point where the spine meets the skull, the spot at which the development of the brain from the notochord took place in our primeval ancestors. Daath is usually held to represent the consciousness of another dimension, or the consciousness of another level or plane; it essentially represens the idea of change of key.The Abyss, the gulf fixed between Macroprosopos and Microprosopos, marks a demarcation in the nature of being, in the type of existence prevailing upon the two levels. It is in the Abyss that Daath, the Invisible Sephirah, has its station, and it might aptly be named the Sephirah of Becoming. It is also called Understanding, which might be further interpreted as Perception, Apprehension, Consciousness.

Visuddhu Chakra, Larynx, Binah - & - Ajna Chakra, Pineal Gland, Chokmah
uniting for function in Daath at the base of the skull

Friday, March 23, 2012

Meltdown Presents: an Evening w Grant Morrison & Gerard Way

Robert Anton Wilson talk at Palm Springs Prophets Conference December 2000

The Universe contains a Maybe!

Whoa I've been browsing the YouTube-o'-sphere and there's quite a bit of new RAW footage on there! I haven't seen this yet but watching it asap and will update the labels for the post accordingly. Enjoy some RAW! BTW, every vid I've posted since the widening of the blog area has been 480 which is what I used to change my vids to lol! I'm sure I'll find a widescreen vid to post soon :P


c.1300, from O.Fr. desguiser (11c.) "disguise, change one's appearance," from des- "away, off" (see dis-) + guise "style, appearance" (see guise).

The Skies
early 13c., "a cloud," from O.N. sky "cloud," from P.Gmc. *skeujam "cloud, cloud cover" (cf. O.E. sceo, O.S. scio "cloud;" O.H.G. scuwo, O.E. scua, O.N. skuggi "shadow;" Goth. skuggwa "mirror"), from PIE root *(s)keu- "to cover, conceal" (see hide (n.1)). Meaning "upper regions of the air" is attested from c.1300; replaced native heofon in this sense (see heaven). In M.E., the word can still mean both "cloud" and "heaven," as still in the skies, originally "the clouds." Sky-high is from 1818; phrase the sky's the limit is attested from 1920.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Approach the Treasure

Muse - New Born

I got the entire discography of Muse recently and there isn't a single lesser song in there, it's incredible! Listened to all of it while studying the Tarot Tree of Life and loved it from start to finish.

Link it to the world. Link it to yourself.

Destroy the spineless. Show me it's real.
Wasting our last chance. To come away.
Just break the silence. Cause I'm drifting away.
Away from you.

3 Binah - Understanding (Spiritual Love - Awareness) - Faith

Chokmah & Binah = Apposition of Form and Force

Binah & Chokmah = Parents, mature beings who have mated and reproduced, reproduction - as compared to the magnetic sexual attraction relationship of Yesod & Netzach

Understanding conveys to us the idea of a penetration into their (accumulated knowledge and infinite series of images in the memory) significance, a power to perceive their essence and interrelation, which is not necessarily implicit in wisdom, taken as intellectual knowledge.
The Great Mother, Sphere of Saturn (the Giver of Form)
Saturn connects through his sickle with Death wish his Scythe, and Time with his hour-glass.
In Binah we find the root form
Stability (!) and Endurance
Visuddhu Chakra Larynx
The Madonna, especially the black madonna, isis, hegate, babalon, selene
day of the week: Saturday, color: black . jewel: star sapphire, pearl. plant: cypress, opium, poppy. perfume: myrrh, animal: woman
Sedatives are assigned to Binah.
TITLE: Binah, Understanding. (Hebrew spelling:Beth, Yod, Nun, He'.)
MAGICAL IMAGE: A mature woman. A matron.
SITUATION ON THE TREE: At the bead of the Pillar of Severity in the
Supernal Triangle.
YETZIRATIC TEXT: The Third Intelligence is called the Sanctifying
Intelligence, the Foundation of Primordial Wisdom; it is also called the Creator of
Faith, and its roots are in Amen. It is the parent of faith, whence faith emanates.
TITLES GIVEN TO BINAH: Ama, the dark sterile Mother. Aima, the bright
fertile Mother. Khorsia, the Throne. Marab, the Great Sea.
GOD-NAME: Jehovah Elohim.
ARCHANGEL: Tzaphkiel.
ORDER OF ANGELS: Aralim, Thrones.
MUNDANE CHAKRA: Shabbathai, Saturn.
VIRTUE: Silence.
VICE: Avarice.
CORRESPONDENCE IN MICROCOSM: The right side of the face.
SYMBOLS: The Yoni. The Kteis. The Vesica Piscis. The cup or chalice. The
Outer Robe of Concealment.
TAROT CARDS: The four Threes.
THREE OF WANDS: Established Strength.
THREE OF CUPS: Abundance.
THREE OF PENTACLES: Material works.
IN BRIAH: Black.
YETZIRAH: Dark brown.
ASSIAH: Grey flecked pink.
VIRTUE: Silence
VICE: Avarice

It will thus be seen that if Kether, the source of all being is conceived of as the highest good, as it inevitably must he, and the nature of Kether is kinetic and its influence is for ever inclined towards Chokmah, it inevitably follows that Binah, the opposite of Chokmah, the perpetual opposer of the dynamic impulses, will be regarded as the enemy of God, the evil one. Saturn-Satan is an easy transition; and so is Time-Death-Devil. Implicit in the ascetic religions such as Christianity and Buddhism is the idea that woman is the root of all evil, because she is the influence which holds men to a life of form by their desires. Matter is regarded by them as the antinomy of spirit in an eternal, unresolved duality.
Saturn is the resister; but, being a resister, he is also a stabiliser and tester who does not allow us to trust our weight to that which will not bear it. It is an illuminating point that the Thirty-second Path, which leads from Malkuth to Yesod and is the first Path trodden by the soul striving upwards, is assigned to Saturn. He is the god of the most ancient form of matter. The Greek myth of Chronos, which is simply the Greek name for the same principle, looks upon him as one of the Old Gods; that is to say, the Gods that made the Gods.

The principles of maleness and femaleness as manifested in Chokmah and Binah represent more than mere positivity and negativity, activity and passivity. Chokmah, the All-begetter, is a vehicle of primal force, the immediate manifestation of Kether. It is, in fact, Kether in action; for the different Sephiroth do not represent different things, but different functions of the same thing, i.e. pure force welling lip into manifestation from the Great Unmanifest which is behind the Negative Veils of Existence. Chokmah is pure force, even as the expansion of petrol as it explodes in the combustion-chamber of an engine is pure force. But just as this expansive force would expand and be lost if there were no engine to transmit its power) so the undirected energy of Chokmah would radiate into space and be lost if there were nothing to receive its impulse and utilise it. Chokmah explodes like petrol; Binah is the combustion-chamber; Gedulab and Geburah are the back and forth strokes of the piston.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


The post area just got wider so I don't have to make images and videos smaller anymore, should be a bit better in the age of widescreens and shizzle.

The Pursuit of Being

America's Problem with UNESCO

I just wanna express my extreme contempt for the USA politicians responsible for withdrawing funding to the UNESCO, cause of admitting Palestine as a full member state. Israel's bitch much America?

Defend our freedom to share (or why SOPA is a bad idea)

What does a bill like PIPA/SOPA mean to our shareable world? At the TED offices, Clay Shirky delivers a proper manifesto -- a call to defend our freedom to create, discuss, link and share, rather than passively consume.

2 Chokmah - Wisdom (Spiritual Will - Purpose)

Wisdom suggests to our minds the idea of accumulated knowledge, of the infinite series of images in the memory
The Supernal Father, Male Potency (Force),
Ajna Chakra Pineal Gland
Planet: The entire Zodiac. Gods: Pan, Priapus, the holy ghost, glycon, all phallic deities. Color: grey. Jewel: star ruby, turquoise. Plant: amaranth. Perfume: mush. Animal: man.
TITLE: Chokmah, Wisdom. (Hebrew spelling: Cheth, Kaph, Mem, He'.)
MAGICAL IMAGE: A bearded male figure.
SITUATION ON THE TREE: At the head of the Pillar of Mercy in the Supernal Triangle.
YETZIRATIC TEXT: The Second Path is called the Illuminating Intelligence. It is the Crown of Creation, the Splendour of Unity, equalling it. It is exalted above every head, and is named by Qabalists the Second Glory.
TITLES GIVEN TO CHOKMAH: Power of Yetzirah. Ah. Abba. The Supernal Father. Tetragrammaton. Yod of Tetragrammaton.
GOD-NAME: Jehovah.
ORDER OF ANGELS: Auphanim, wheels.
MUNDANE CHAKRA: Mazloth, the Zodiac.
SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE: The Vision of God face to face.
VIRTUE: Devotion.
CORRESPONDENCE IN MICROCOSM: The left side of the face.
SYMBOLS: The Lingam. The Phallus. The Yod of Tetragrammaton. The Inner
Robe of Glory. The Standing-stone. The Tower. The Uplifted Rod of Power. The
Straight Line.
TAROT CARDS: The four Twos.
Two OF WANDS: Dominion.
Two OF CUPS: Love.
Two OF SWORDS: Peace restored.
Two OF PENTACLES: Harmonious change.
COLOUR IN AZILUTH: Pure soft blue.
BRIAH: Grey.
YETZIRAH: Pearl-grey, iridescent.
ASSIAH: White flecked with red, blue, and yellow.

Another Question to you, the blog reader: Why is the Stimulating Sephiroth Chokmah linked to the Ajna Chakra, and the Receptive Sephiroth Binah to the Visuddhu throat chakra?...

We do well to look upon it as a channel for the passage of force rather than a receptable for the storage of force. The Great Stimulator of the Universe. It is from Chokmah that Binah, the Third Sephirah, receives its influx of emanation, and Binah is the first of the organising, stabilising Sephiroth. The Rite of Chokmah, if such it can be called, is concerned with the influx of cosmic
energy. It is formless, being the pure impulse of dynamic creation; and being formless,
the creation it gives rise to can assume any and every form; hence the possibility of sublimating creative force from its purely Priapic aspect.
Whatever stimulates is assigned to Chokmah in the classification of the Tree. As was noted in the chapter upon Kether, the four suits of the Tarot pack are assigned to the four elements, and we saw that the four aces represented the roots of the powers of these elements, The four twos are assigned to Chokmah, and represent the polarised functioning of these elements in harmonised balance; therefore a two is always a card of harmony.
The two of Wands, which is assigned to the element of Fire, is called the Lord of
Dominion. The wand is essentially a male phallic symbol, and is attributed to Chokmah,
so we may take this card as meaning polarisation; the positive that has found its mate in the negative, and is in equilibrium. There is no antagonism or resistance to the Lord of Dominion, a contented land accepts his rule; Binah, fulfilled, accepts her mate.
The two of Cups (Water) is called the Lord of Love and here again we have the concept of harmonious polarisation.
The two of Swords (Air) is called the Lord of Peace Restored, indicating that the disruptive force of Swords is in temporary equilibrium.
The two of Pentacles (Earth) is called the Lord of Harmonious Change. Here, as in
Swords, we see a modification of the essential nature of the elemental force by its
polarismg opposite, thus inducing equilibrium. The disruptive force of Swords is restored to peace, and the inertia and resistance of Earth becomes, when polarised by the influence of Chokmah, a balanced rhythm.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Wilfred follows a young man named Ryan (Elijah Wood) and his neighbor's dog Wilfred (Jason Gann). At first Ryan is suicidal, attempting to kill himself several times in the first episode. Ryan's female neighbor, Jenna (Fiona Gubelmann), asks him to look after her dog for the day. Ryan is taken aback as he sees Wilfred as an Australian man in a dog suit, while everyone else sees Wilfred as just a dog.

It's a remake of the original Australian show and the Jason Gann who co-created it reprises his role as Wilfred. The second is a clip from the original show. It's pretty awesome how hilarious and deep it gets.

_I know you think there's no hope, I know that you feel like a diamond in the rough that never got to shine, I know what you tried to do last night.
_How do you..?
_Because I am you, we are one mind... ahaaa just messing with ya, I read ya little snuff letter while you were passed out.

What Creatures Are You Owning Currently

The Current Stream of Streaming Currently
"Man is not the creature of circumstances, circumstances are the creature of man.
We are free agents, and man is more powerful than matter."
Benjamin Disraeli

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Middle Pillar

Kether Space - Solar tiphareth - Lunar Yesod - Earthly Malkuth

Middle Pillar Meditation

Kabbalah Sephiroth: 1. Kether - Crown

Right so, I confess, I barely am anymore knowledgeable after reading Dion Fortune's Mystical Kabbalah and my other musings, like reading every single tarot card description in relation to their Sephiroth and paths, as I was before, but then again I've only been learning about it for 2 weeks. Here are some of my notes from the book.

So just a few notes, correspondences, images on every Sephirah. Nothing too fancy, bit chaotically ordered sometimes. Basically you're sharing in my rehearsing of the material.

First Trinity: Kether, Chokmah, Binah - The Intellectual World

Consciousness reaches from the spiritual essence of Kether, through the realisation of Daath, which carries it across the Abyss, into the translated consciousness of Tiphareth, through which it is brought by the sacrifice of the Christ which rends the veil Paroketh; then on into the psychic consciousness of Yesod, the Sphere of the Moon, and thence to the sensory brain of Malkuth.
A crown is above the head, and Kether is generally held to represent a form of consciousness which is not achieved during incarnation. It is is essentially outside the scheme of things so far as the planes of form are concerned. The spiritual experience associated with Kether is Union with God, and whoso achieves that experience is said to enter into the light and come not forth again.

Here's a question from me to you the blog reader, I think Dion Fortune's just wrong about this, but if according to Fortune Kether is a form of consciousness which is not achieved during incarnation, then how does a non-dual mystic experience - described by Fortune as "union with God" translate into the Tree of Life, as I've had this sort of experience on my most profound shroom trip, and I'm sure many others have had through whatever means - being "the drop in the ocean", it only seems logical to me to attritube it to Kether?

Kether - Crown (The Self)
Non-duality, root of all being
Symbol: Ancient bearded king seen in profile, we only see the face partially.
Sahasrara Chakra, Thousand petalled lotus, above the head.
Gods: Jehovah, Allah, other monotheistic Deities. Color: Brilliant white. Jewel: Diamond. Plant: Flowering almond. Perfume: Ambergris. Animal: God.
Kether in Atziluth: Eheieh, Kether in Briah: Archangel Metatron. Yetzira: the angels, the Chaioth ha Qadesh, Holy Living Creatures, and their name carries the mind to the chariot vision of Ezekiel and the four holy creatures before the throne. Four aces of the tarot: the roots of the four elements of earth, air, fire and water. Kether is the fountain-head of the elements. As above, so below. The microcosm corresponds to the macrocosm, and we must therefore seek in man the Kether above the head which shines with a pure white brilliance in Adam Kadmon, the Heavenly Man. The rabbis call it the Yechidah, the Divine Spark; the Egyptians call it the Sab; the Hindus call it the Thousand-petalled Lotus.

TITLE: Kether, the Crown. (Hebrew spelling: - Kaph, Tau, Resh.)
MAGICAL IMAGE: An ancient bearded king seen in profile.
SITUATION ON THE TREE: At the head of the Pillar of Equilibrium in the Supernal Triangle.
YETZIRATIC TEXT: The First Path is called the Admirable or Hidden
Intelligence because it is the Light giving the power of comprehension of the First Principle, which hath no beginning. And it is the Primal Glory, because no created being can attain to its essence.
TITLES GIVEN TO KETHER: Existence of Existences. Concealed of the
Concealed. Ancient of Ancients. Ancient of Days. The Primordial Point. The
Point within the Circle. The Most High. The Vast Countenance. The White Head.
The Head which is not. Macroprosopos. Amen. Lux Occulta. Lux Interna. He.
GOD-NAME: Eheieh.
ARCHANGEL: Metatron.
ORDER OF ANGELS: Holy living creatures. Chaioth ha Qadesh.
MUNDANE CHAKRA: Rashith ha Gilgalim. Primum Mobile. First Swirlings.
VIRTUE: Attainment. Completion of the Great Work.
Yechidah. The Divine Spark. The Thousand-petalled Lotus.
SYMBOLS: The point. The crown. The swastika.
TAROT CARDS: The four Aces.
ACE OF WANDS: Root of the Powers of Fire.
ACE OF CUPS: Root of the Powers of Water.
ACE OF SWORDS: Root of the Powers of Air.
ACE OF PENTACLES: Root of the Powers of Earth.
BRIAH: Pure white brilliance.
YETZIRAH: Pure white brilliance.
ASSIAH: White, flecked gold.

Replacing "Curses" with "Blessings"

One of the exercises in Rodney Orpheus' book was changing a few habits and thus I've steadily started to replace "damn" with "bless" in all their variations. I was delighted with the effect this had on my consciousness and moods. I highly recommend trying this exercise for the full duration of a week (or forever), whenever you catch yourself saying what you want to replace pinch yourself (some suggest pricking with a needle or even crazier shizzle, I do not see the need of this at all, har har.)

It's actually a very weighty thing to curse someone I've learned this week and a very great thing to bless one instead for teaching you an insight or making you smile etc, the change this effects on your consciousness is delightful! Subsequently I have started to replace my many (obviously mostly internal) usages of the word "motherfucker (samuel l. jackson stylee)" with "dude (big lebowski stylee)" and "bitch (David Chappelle stylee)" with "girl (rnb stylee)" or "woman (jamaica stylee)", damn (*pinch*) bless you oh youth years for these words years ago which by now have long served their comedic usage and can be transmuted by words resonating much higher principles while still remaining fun to say.

Sunday, March 18, 2012


The Comments system is working again, I thought I had re-enabled it weeks ago but it was on a wrong setting.

Eliphas Levi - The Magician

O Lord, deliver me from hell*'s great fear and gloom!
Loose thou my spirit from the larvae of the tomb!
I seek them in their dread abodes without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

I bid the night conceive the glittering hemisphere.
Arise, O sun, arise! O moon, shine white & clear!
I seek them in their dread abodes without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

Their faces and their shapes are terrible and strange.
These devils by my might to angels I will change.
These nameless horrors I address without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

These are the phantoms pale of mine astonied view,
Yet none but I their blasted beauty can renew;
For to the abyss of hell I plunge without affright:
On them will I impose my will, the law of light.

* Hell: Middle English helle - Anglo-Saxon hel - meaning hidden, concealed.

The Ten Sephiroth of the Kabbalah and the Virtues & Vices thereof

Pending the longer summaries of each separate Sephirah from Dion Fortune's book, here's the best summary I have seen on them by Rodney Orpheus along with the virtues and vices and another tidbit from Dion Fortune. I find it an extremely complicated system to get the hang of for beginners so I hope that I can help others to understand it as I continue to learn more and share my notes with everyone. A major tip: one can not learn about the Kabbalah learning the Sephiroth as separate, they have to be studied as interconnected always. The only way to grasp this system it seems is to keep learning back and forth about the entire Tree of Life until a clear picture comes out of the chaos, it's well worth it.

1. Kether Crown, pure white light, primary source of all within the manifested universe. Has many of the qualities of Hadit.
virtue: Attainment Completion of the Great Work.
vice: -

Nuit has split herself to create Hadit, and the interplay between them creates the Yin and Yang. (Chokmah and Binah)

2. Chokmah Wisdom. Twoness: None and one. Line of Radiance, connection of tow things that have become separate and the direction of movement between them. Chokmah is the first Wisdom. The sign of the desire of Hadit to peform his Will. Grey. Great Father. Therion.
virtue: Devotion
vice: -

3 Binah Understanding. Yin (female energy) comes into play to balance the Yang (male). As the Will arises, the Understanding grows to enfold it. Triangle. Greath Mother. Babalon. Takes in all light: Black.
virtue: Silence
vice: Avarice (greed)

What springs from 2 & 3 are crossbreeds, hybrids, who have lost the essential qualities of their parents. So the 3 highest Spheres are split from the lower Spheres. The Veil of the Abyss:

11. Da'ath
Hanging in the Abyss. Knowledge. logic, thought processes. Duality. Perception without emotion, comprehension without movement, thought in isolation from deeper roots. False crown of ego that tries to hide us from Kether. the true Crown of the Will. Confused child that knows it is lost, but has no Understanding of the way home or Wisdom to seek the way.
Demon Choronzon, the demon which lies, argues, debates, confuses aspirants. no color. Rainbow Bridge of Norse mythology. It is not evil (no sephiroth can be good or bad in itself.) Bridge to the supernal Triad. Through Da'ath flow the supernal energies into the sephiroth below. The energy we use comes from Chaos. Directing our True Wills we order it into the patterns that we need. Primary Colors: Blue/Red/Yellow.

4. Chesed Mercy. Material world. Cube, primal three-dimensional figure. 4 is stability. Setting energy in place. Creator, builder. Gods, Jupiter, Jehovah. Sky Gods. Blue color. Conservatism. Four-square. Secure.
virtue: Obedience
vice: Bigotry, Hypocrisy, Gluttony, Tyranny

5. Geburah Strength, Geburah is energetic, moving and destroying, pentagram, star of force and fire, Mars. Red.
virtue: Energy, Courage, (discipline)
vice: Cruelty, Destruction

6. Tiphareth, beauty, the child that harmonizes the opposing forces 4 and 5. Only Sphere to connect directly to Kether. Harmonize all things. Child of Chesed and Geburah. Yellow. Hexagram. Six pointed, links the triangle of the divine with the triangle of man. The sun in our solar system, the central point around which all revolve and draw light. Sun Gods: Apollo, Mithars, Osiris, Jesus, Rebirth as the sun does every day.
virtue: Devotion to the Great Work
vice: Pride

7. Netzach Victory. Emotional. Body. Milder energy than the previous spheres. Female quality. sustains nature. Bright emerald Green (from YellowTiphareth/BlueChesed). Nature renews itself, gently but surely. Beautiful Goddesses. Venus. Seven pointed star. Sensual.
virtue: Unselfishness
vice: Unchastity, Lust

8. Hod Splendor. Flashing speed, brilliant bolts of lightning, Mind. Business, counting, travel. Orange (Red Geburah / Yellow Tiphareth), eight pointed star, 2 squares set at an angle to each other. Mercury.
virtue: Truthfulness
vice: Falsehood, Dishonesty

9. Yesod. Foundation of the tree. Sphere of the Astral Plane. True reality that lies beneath the Illusion of matter. Moon. Reflecting solar light of Tiphareth above it. Lunar Crescent symbol. Purple (RedGeburah/BlueChesed), Lunar Goddesses. Motto: Change is Stability.
virtue: Independence
vice: Idleness

10. Malkuth. Final daughter of the marriage of Nuit and Hadit. Earth. No single color like Da'ath. colors: Citrine, olive, russet, black. Earth, fields, plants. Symbol is Cross surrounded by the Circle. Goddesses of olden times that cared for the crops and the land such as Demeter and Ceres.
virtue: Discrimination
vice: Avarice (greed), Inertia

Netzach, Hod and Yesod, form the Lower Triad, overshadowed by Tiphareth, as the Lower Self is overshadowed by the Higher Self. The four lower Sephiroth form the Personality, or unit of Incarnation, of the Tree, the Higher Triad of Chesed, Geburah and Tiphareth form the Individuality, or Higher Self, and the Three Supernals, Kether, Chokmah and Binah correspond to the Divine Spark.

The Triads are always represented, when once emanated and in equillibrium, as a Pair of Opposites manifesting in a Functional Third. In this, the Lower Triad, then, we find Netzach and Hod equilibriated in Yesod, which is conceived as receiving their emanations. But it also received the emanations of Tiphareth, and through Tiphareth, of Kether, because there is always a line of force working down a Pillar; consequently, as it received also from Netzach and Hod the influences that they in their turn have received from their respective Pillars, it may aptly be called, in the words of Qabalists, the Mystical Qabala "receptacle of the emanations"; and it is from Yesod that Malkuth receives the influx of the Divine forces.

Today is Tree of Life - Tarot - Paths learning day

(3rd correction version uploaded ;p)
Got my work cut out for me today! I finished Dion Fortune's Mystical Kabbalah yesterday and now it's time to learn about each Sephira and its associated Tarot cards and the paths and their associated Tarot Card. Got the Muse Discography playing in the background while I'm at it!

Interconnected Symbols

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Aramaic dude, do you speak it?

3 documentaries about the brutal Food industry

The trailers for these documentaries scared the crap out of me so thoroughly that I'm honest enough to admit I will not be watching them in the very near future, but I'd like to share them nonetheless. I'm still getting over the shock of finding out about the red colorant E120, which has ensured a serious decline in the kinds of red candy I will eat... I first had the title "3 brutal documentaries about the Food industry" up, I realized I had to change it to "3 documentaries about the brutal Food industry."

Lon Milo DuQuette - The Key to Solomon's Key

No it's really a book by Lon Milo DuQuette this time!

Sketching out a fascinating network of historic figures, cults, and Christendom, this book by an occult studies expert and respected authority on magic and sorcery takes western spiritual traditions seriously—but examines them with common sense and self-effacing humor. Working backward from the Freemasons to one of their original orders, the 14th-century Knights Templar, the account considers sorcery, heresy, and intrigues; explores the legend that the Knights possessed a powerful secret dangerous to the Church of Rome; and finds an essential clue to the order's practices in their connection to the biblical Solomon, king of Israel in the 10th century B. C.

Started reading this today then was surprised to notice I was already over 100 pages in and passed halfway! Fascinating book about the Knights Templar, freemasonry, biblical history, magick and all that other good stuff!

Big Pharmario

Friday, March 16, 2012

Community Returns!

I'm not late, I live on the internets which is live +1day

Fibonacci Pigeons

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Last night I stepped into a saloon and demanded a ride, bicycle kicked Sub-Zero into oblivion Liu Kang style and then rode a horse for the first time, how was your night? :p

Engineers vs Physicists

Dice Man - Chapter Twenty

In November I received a telephone call from Dr. Mann informing me that Eric Cannon had been acting up while I'd been away a week at a convention in Houston, that it had bees necessary to increased his medication (tranquilizers) and would I please make a special trip over as soon as possible and see him. Eric might have to be transferred to another institution. In my temporary office on the Island I read through Head Nurse Herbie Flamm's report on Eric Cannon.
It had a kind of novelistic power that Henry James sought for fifty years without finding: It is necessary to report that Patient Eric Cannon is a troublemaker. There haven't been many patients in my lifetime that I would have to label that, but this is one. Cannon is a consciously evil troublemaker. He is disturbing the other patients. Although I have always kept this one of the quietest [sic] wards on the island, since he has been here it is noisy and a mess. Patients who haven't said a word in years now can't shut up. Patients that have stood always in the same corner now play pitch and catch with chairs. Many of the patients are now singing and laughing. This disturbs the patients who want peace and quiet to get better. Someone keeps destroying the television set. I think Mr. Cannon is schizophrenic. Sometimes he wanders around the ward nice and quiet like he was in a dreamworld and other times he sneaks around like a snake, hissing at me and the patients like he was the boss of the ward and not me.
Unfortunately he has followers. Many patients are now refusing sedation. Some do not go to the machine shop for factory therapy. Two patients confined to wheelchairs have pretended to walk. Patients are showing disrespect for the hospital food. When one man was ill to his stomach, another patient began eating the vomit, claiming it tasted much
better that way. We do not have enough maximum security rooms on the ward. Also patients who are refusing or not swallowing their sedation will not stop singing and laughing when we politely ask. Disrespect is everywhere. I have sometimes had the feeling on the ward that I do not exist. I mean to say no one pays attention any more. My attendants are often tempted to treat the patients with physical force but I remind them of the Hypocratic Oath. Patients will not stay in their beds at night. Talking with each other is going on. Meetings I think. They whisper. I do not know if there is a rule against this, but I recommend that a rule is made. Whispering is worse than singing.
We have sent several of his followers to ward W [the violent ward] but patient Cannon is tricky. He never does anything himself. I think he is spreading illegal d rugs on the ward but none have been found. He never does anything and everything is happening.
I have this to report. It is serious. On September 10, at 2.30 P.M. in the Main Room right in front of the destroyed and lifeless television set, a large group of patients began hugging each other. They had a circle with their arms around each other and they were humming or moaning and kept getting closer and humming and swaying or pulsating like a giant jellyfish or human heart and they were all men. They did this and attendant R. Smith attempted to break them up but their circle was very strong. I attempted to break their circle also as gently as I could but as I was so endeavoring the circle suddenly opened and two men physically clamped me with their arms and hands and I was drawn against my total will into the horrible circle. It was disgusting beyond my ability to say.
The patients showed no respect but continued their illegal hugging until four attendants from ward T plus R. Smith rescued me by breaking up the circle as gently as they could, unfortunately accidentally breaking my arm (the lower tibia minor, I believe).
This event is typical of the poor conditions which have developed on our ward since patient Cannon came. He was in the circle but since there were eight, Dr. Vener said we couldn't send them all to ward W. Hugging is also not technically against the rules which again shows the need for more thinking.
The boy never talks to me. But I hear. Among the patients I have friends. They say he is against mental hospitals. You should know that. They say he is the ringleader of all the trouble. That he is trying to make all the patients happy and not pay attention to us. They say he says that patients ought to take aver the hospital. That he says even if he leaves them he will come back. These patients, my friends, say this.
Because of the facts what I have written I must respectfully recommend to you;
(1) That all sedation be given by needle to prevent patients from falsely swallowing their tranquilizers and remaining active and noisy during the day.
(2) That all illegal drugs should be strictly forbidden.
(3) That strict rules be developed and enforced regarding singing, laughing, whispering, and hugging.
(4) That a special iron mesh cage be developed to protest the television set and that its cord go directly from the set which is ten feet off the floor to the ceiling to protect the wire from those who would deny the television set to those
who want to watch it. This is freedom of speech. The iron mesh must form about inch wide squares, thick enough to prevent flying objects from entering and smashing the screen but letting people still see the TV screen although with a waffle-griddle effect. The TV must go on.
(5) Most important. That patient Eric Cannon be transferred respectfully someplace else.
Head Nurse Flamm sent this report to myself, Dr. Varier, Dr. Mann, Chief Supervisor Hennings, State Mental Hospital Director Alfred Coles, Mayor John Lindsay and Governor Nelson Rockefeller. - I had seen Eric only three times since my Jesus session with him and he had been extremely tense each time and done very little talking, but when he walked into my office that afternoon he came as quietly as a lamb into a grassy meadow.
He moved to the window and stared out. He was wearing blue jeans, a rather soiled T-shirt, sneakers and a gray hospital shirt, unbuttoned. His hair was quiet long, but his skin was paler than it had been in September. After about a minute -he turned and lay down on the short couch to the left of the desk.
`Mr. Flamm,' I said, `reports that he believes that you are stirring up the patients to - improper behavior.'
To my surprise he answered right away.
'Yeah, improper. Bad. Lousy. That's me,' he said, staring at he green ceiling. `It took me a long time to realize what the bastards are up to, to realize that the good-game is their most effective method of keeping their fucking system going.
When I did, it made me rage against the way I'd been fooled. All my kindness and forgiveness and meekness just let the system step on everybody all the more comfortably. Love is groovy if it's for good guys but to love the fuzz, love
the army; love Nixon, love the church, whoa man, that is one lost trip.'
While he was speaking I took out my pipe and began filling it with marijuana. When he finally paused I said: `Dr. Mann indicates that if Flamm continues to complain you'll have to be transferred to Ward W.'
`Oh, boohoohoo,' he said, not looking at me. `It's all the same. It's a system, you see. A machine. You work hard to keep the machine going, you're a good guy; you goof off or try to stop the machine and you're a commie or a loony.
The machine may be blowing blacks under like weeds, or scattering ten-ton bombs over Vietnam like firecrackers or overthrowing reform governments in Latin America every other month, but the old machine must be kept working. Oh man, when I saw this I vomited for a week. Locked myself in my room for six months.'
He paused and we both listened to the birds singing away among the maple trees outside the building. I lit the pipe and took a deep toke. I exhaled, the smoke drifting idly in his direction.
`And all that time I began slowly to feel that something important was going to happen to me, that I was chosen for some special mission. I had only to fast and to wait. When I bopped my father in the face and was sent here I knew even more certainly that something was going to happen. Knew it.' He stopped talking and sniffed twice. I took another drag on my pipe.
`Has anything happened yet?' I asked.
He watched me take another lungful and then settled back onto the couch. He reached into kiss hair and brought out a home made joint.
`Got a match?' he said.
'If you're going to smoke, share mine,' I said.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Well don't I feel silly!

Geez. So apparently I wasn't reading Lon Milo DuQuette's The Magic of Aleister Crowley, but Rodney Orpheus' Abrahadabra. I apparently mixed the two up cause Lon Milo wrote the preface to Orpheus' book, and only found out after I finished it (just now)! A thousand apologies and admirations to Rodney Orpheus (and Lon Milo DuQuette too! Why not?!). I really recommend this to anyone wanting to turn their life more magickal. A short but most excellent primer on Thelema, the O.T.O., Kabbala, and much more. There is a sample chapter here.

The Dice Man - Chapter 17 (the nr of Rebirth)

Eventually, it had to happen; the dice decided that Dr. Rhinehart should spread their plague - he was ordered to corrupt his innocent children into the dicelife...

...Larry took to following the dice with such ease and joy compared to the soul-searching gloom that I often weal cough before following a decision, that I had to wonder what happened to every human in the two decades between seven and twenty-seven to turn a kitten into a cow. Why did children seem to be so often spontaneous, joy-filled and concentrated while adults seemed controlled, anxiety filled and diffused?
It was the goddam sense of having a self: that sense of self which psychologists have been proclaiming we all must have. What if - at the time it seemed like an original thought - what if the development of a sense of self is normal and natural, but is neither inevitable nor desirable? What if it represents a psychological appendix: a useless, anachronistic pain in the side? Or, like the mastodon's huge tusks: a heavy, useless and ultimately self-destructive burden? What if the sense of being someone represents an evolutionary error as disastrous to the further development of a more complex creature as was the shell for snails or turtles? He he he. What if? Indeed men must attempt to eliminate the error and develop in themselves and their children liberation from the sense of self. Man must become comfortable in flowing from one role to another, one set of values to another, one life to another. Men must be free from boundaries, patterns and consistencies in order to be free to think, feel and create in new ways. Men have admired Prometheus and Mars too long; our God must become Proteus.
I became tremendously excited with my thoughts: `Men must become comfortable in flowing from one role to another' - why aren't they? At the age of three or four, children were willing to be either good guys or bad guys, the Americans or the Commies, the students or the fuzz. As the culture molds them, however, each child comes to insist on playing only one set of roles: he must always be a good guy, or, for equally compulsive reasons, a bad guy or rebel. The capacity to play and feel both sets of roles is lost. He has begun to know who he is supposed to be.
The sense of a permanent self: ah, how psychologists and parents lust to lock their kids into some definable cage.
Consistency, patterns, something we can label - that's what we want in our boy.
`Oh, our Johnny always does a beautiful bowel movement every morning after breakfast'
`Billy just loves to read all the time...'
`Isn't Joan sweet? She always likes to let the other person win.'
'Sylvia's so pretty and so grown up; she just loves all the time to dress up.'
It seemed to me that a thousand oversimplifications a year betrayed the truths in the child's heart: he knew at one point that he didn't always feel like shitting after breakfast but it gave his Ma a thrill. Billy ached to be out splashing in mud puddles with the other boys, but . . . Joan wanted to chew the penis off her brother every time he won, but ... And Sylvia daydreamed of a land in which she wouldn't have to worry but how she looked ...
Patterns are prostitution to the patter of parents. Adults rule and they reward patterns. Patterns it is. And eventual misery.
What if we were to bring up our children differently? Reward them for varying their habits, tastes, roles? Reward them for being inconsistent? What then? We could discipline them to be reliably various, to be conscientiously inconsistent, determinedly habit-free even of `good' habits.
`What, my boy, haven't told a lie yet today? Well, go to your room and stay there until you can think one up and learn to do better.'
`Oh, my Johnny, he's so wonderful. Last year he got all "A"s an his report card and this year he's getting mostly "D"s and "F"s. We're so proud: `Our little Eileen still pees in her panties every now and then and she's almost twelve.'
'Oh, that's marvelous! Your daughter must be so alive.'
`Good boy, Roger, that was beautiful the way you walked off the field and went home to play Ping-Pong with the score tied and two out in the last of the eighth. Every dad in the stands wished his kid had thought of that.'
`Donnie! Don't you dare brush your teeth again tonight! It's getting to be a regular habit.'
`I'm sorry, Mom.'
`Goddam son of mine. Hasn't goofed off in a week. If I don't find the lawn un-mowed or the wastebaskets overflowing one of these days, I'm going to blow my top at him.'
`Larry, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You haven't bullied a single one of the little kids on the block all summer.'
'I just don't feel like it, Mom.'
`Well, at least you could try.'
`What should I wear, Mother?'
`Oh I don't know, Sylvia. Why don't you try the cardigan which makes you look flat-chested and that ugly skirt your grandmother gave you which always twists. I've got a pair of nylons I've been saving for a special occasion: they've each got a run.'
`Sounds groovy.'
Teachers, too, would have to alter.
'Your drawings all tend to look like the thing you're draw, young man. You seem unable to let yourself go.'
'This essay is too logical and well-organized. If you expect to develop as a writer you must learn to digress and be at times totally irrelevant.'
`Your son's work shows much improvement. His papers on history have become nicely erratic again, and his comportment totally unreliable (A-). His math remains a little compulsively accurate, but his spelling is a delight. I particularly enjoyed his spelling of "stundent" for "student".'
`We regret to inform you that your son behaves always like a man. He seems incapable of being a girl part of the time.
He has been dating only girls and may need psychiatric treatment'
`I'm afraid, George, that you're one of our few ninth graders who hasn't acted like a kindergarten child this week.
You'll have to stay after school and work on it.'
The child, we are informed, needs to see order and consistency in the world or he becomes insecure and afraid. But what order and consistency? The child doesn't have to have consistent consistency; it seemed to me he might grow equally well with consistent, dependable inconsistency. Life, in fact, is that way; if parents would only admit and praise inconsistency, children wouldn't be so frightened of their parents' hypocrisy or ignorance.
`Sometimes I'll spank you for spilling your milk and sometimes I won't give a damn.'
`Occasionally I like you when you rebel against me, son, and at other times I love to kick the shit out of you.'
`I'm usually pleased with your good grades in school, but sometimes I think you're an awful grind.'
Such is the way adults feel: such is the way children sense they feel. Why can't they acknowledge and praise their inconsistency? Because they think they have a `self.'
Like the turtle's shell, the sense of self serves as a shield against stimulation and as a burden which limits mobility into possibly dangerous areas. The turtle rarely has to think about what's on the other side of his shell; whatever it is, it can't hurt him, can't even touch him. So, too, adults insist on the shell of a consistent self for themselves and their children and appreciate turtles for friends; they wish to be protected from being hurt or touched or confused or having to think.
If a man can rely on consistency, he can afford not to notice people after the first few times. But I imagined a world in which each individual might be about to play the lover, the benefactor, the sponger, the attacker, the friend: and once known as one of the next day he might yet be anything. Would we pay attention to this person? Would life be boring?
Would life be livable? I saw then clearly for the first time that the fear of failure keeps us huddled in the cave of self - a group of behavior patterns we have mastered and have no intention of risking failure by abandoning.
What if secretly before every agon or game the dice were thrown to determine whether the `winner' or the `loser' `wins'! The prize or the championship, with fifty-fifty being the odds for each? The loser of the game would thus end up half the time being congratulated for having been lucky enough to have lost, and thus won the prize. The man who won the game would be consoled for playing so well.
`But!!! The loser of the game would still feel bad, the winner still feel 'good.'
But I remembered reading in a widely acclaimed book on children's games something which made Larry's affinity for diceliving make sense. I dug out the book and read confirmation of my thoughts with joy. Children, it said ... rarely trouble to keep scores, little significance is attached to who wins or loses, they do not require the stimulus of prizes, it does not seem to worry them if the game is not finished. Indeed, children like games in which there is a sizeable element of luck, so that individual abilities cannot be directly compared. They like games which restart automatically, so that everybody is given a new chance.
It seemed to me that there were two quite different meanings of failure. The mind knows when it is blocked and when it has found a solution. A child trying to solve a maze knows when he fails and when he succeeds; no adult need tell him. A child building a house of blocks knows when the collapse of the house means failure (he wanted to build it higher) and when it means success (he wanted it to fall). Success and failure mean simply the satisfaction and frustration of desire. It is real; it is important; the child doesn't have, to be rewarded or punished by society in order to
prefer success to failure.
The, second meaning of failure is also simple: failure is failure to please an adult; success is pleasing an adult. Money, fame, winning a baseball game, looking pretty, having good clothes, car, house are' all types of success which primarily revolve around pleasing the adult world. There is nothing intrinsic to the human soul in any of these fears of failure.
Becoming the dice man was difficult because it involved a continual risking of failure in the eyes of the adult world.
As dice man I `failed' (in the second sense) again and again. I was rejected by Lil, by the children, by my esteemed colleagues, by my patients, by strangers, by the image of society's values branded into me by thirty years of living. In the second sense of failure I was continually failing and suffering, but in the first sense I never failed. Every time I followed the dictates of the die I was successfully building a house or purposely knocking one down. My mazes were
always being solved. I was continually opening myself to new problems and, enjoying solving them.
From children to men we cage ourselves in patterns to avoid facing new problems and possible failure; after a while men become bored because there are no new problems. Such is life under the fear of failure.
Fail! Lose! Be bad! Play, risk, dare.
Thus, I exulted that evening of Larry's first diceday. I became determined to make Larry and Evie fearless, frameless,
egoless humans. Larry would be the first egoless man since Lao-Tzu. I would let him play the role of father of the household and Evie the mother. I'd let them reverse roles. Sometimes they would play parents as they perceive us to be and at other times as they think parents should be. We could all play television heroes and comic-strip characters.
And Lil and I every conscientious parent - would change his personality every other day or week.
`I am he who can play many games.'
That is the essence of the happy child of foul, and he never feels he loses. `I am he who is x, y and z, and x, y and z only': that is the essence of the unhappy adult. I would try to extend in my children their childishness. In the immortal words of J. Edgar Hoover: `Unless ye become as little children, ye shall not see God.'