Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dogma Daze

Excerpts from Christopher S. Hyatt & S.L. Slaughter's Dogma Daze (buy or dl)
36 pages of hilarious genius

Dogma Daze
Free yourself from guilt
Never let anyone make you feel bad again.

Dogma Junkies
Dogma is a drug -- and we are dogma addicts.
"But Doctor, what is Dogma?" "Well my dear, dogma is acting as though you possess absolute truth, even though you have no real facts to support your propaganda. Some words which are similar are -- dictatorial, stubborn, egotistical, bigoted, fanatical, intolerant, opinionated, overbearing, arrogant, stupid, despotic, and the list continues. But of course my dear, these terms do not apply to you."

WHEN YOU GO OUT FOR DINNER ORDER DOGMA

WHEN YOU GO OUT ANYTIME ORDER DOGMA --
BECAUSE YOU WILL GET IT ANYWAY

AT LEAST YOU WILL FEEL IN CONTROL

If someone spots you going into dogma withdrawal (that is doing something which is a lot of fun) you will be provided with a remedy - be it sympathy - advice - or electro-shock therapy.

Shut it off! Now I can see how your view is much more valid and sensible than mine!!

Dogma Speed
Dogma travels faster than the speed of light. If the speed of dogma transmission becomes sloweer than the speed of change then a nervous breakdown can occur. When this happens frantic attempts are made to find a fresh connection, such as a psychiatrist, who is a specialist in dogma breakdown and withdrawal. OR YOU CAN --- Watch TV. Have an affair. Go on a shopping spree. Throw a war. Get sick. Provoke an economic disaster. If that is not enough, you can start your own counter culture or if you're really brave you can start your own religion.

Intelligent Dogma
The most advanced DOGMA JUNKIES are of course the educated addicts. They "CHOOSE" their -- DOGMA -- carefully, not knowing of course that they're junkies. They evaluate themselves and others in terms of the logic-reason-justice - originality and obvious truth of their DOGMA. Their customary paraphernalia includes style, value, convention, common sense, good taste and consensus.

The CIA
International dogma protection -- this agency protects us against the dogma of other nations. According to some TV programs the CIA will use any device conceivable to protect us from the insidious peril which is encroaching --------- (Note: The publisher removed the remainder of the sentence.)

Read on (buy or dl)

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