Thursday, June 26, 2008

Attention Introverts: How to Become More Extroverted

Here is a Pick the Brain article focusing on how to improve extrovert skills:
1. Being comfortable with groups of people.
2. Meeting people easily.
3. Having conversations without wondering what to say.

I value my deep introversion infinitely higher over any social skills, which in our society to me basically seemed like being a good hypocrit (before I 'explored' more, hey sorry, it did) - I do appreciate them more now, as I tend to be the one to blurt out the hard truth regardless of how it makes one feel (since I value truth over anything else myself, and people are so in love with their illusions). Not to mention my hate of small talk, I mean damn, a characteristic of extroverts is that they talk and act without thinking. To me that's like a definition of insanity/stupidity but hey, I guess overthinking everything isn't too great either all the time... Oh duality, how you teach (and freaking frustrate) us.
I started exploring psychology and types just to understand how the extroverted creatures on this planet freaking operate cause I didn't understand their motivations at all. Now I am at least interested in human (*cough* BS robot/droid) interaction, in the beginning it was like a cute experiment to watch it in action (sometimes it still is) - though perception is a great filter again, if you see anyone as a potential teacher you will find that and even the least informed among us can sometimes dazzle us with that synchronistic remark you just needed at that time. There are many different forms of intelligence and each one can be appreciated and learned or improved.

I know I sound very dark sometimes, I have the remains of a deep rooted contempt for the average intelligence in the common domesticated primate. I'd join the secret societies IF they weren't responsible for this shit. "The people don't want the truth, join us." Cause you conditioned them with belief systems for centuries you IDIOTS. Who'd wanna join a bunch of jackasses who are responsible for so many pathetic "Cyst-ems & Con Troll"?

The Woman In The Red Dress

Any of you truth seekers extroverts? Cause I have a hard time imagining that. Please shatter another limiting belief o' mine ;). When I dish out truth people I talk to find all kinds of red dresses, look a birdy. Anything but going deeper on the subject. But... how then do you ever learn or realize something?


Anonymous said...

When I read this blurb I thought you had been reading my mind, my ideas are so close to yours on this subject, LOL

Does introverted mean that one avoids others through shyness or is one simply guarded about one's privacy and space to think for ones' self without all the BS distractions? Not sure, probably both.

I'm working on being whatever person I need to be in any given situation (mainly through building self-confidence to explore the many selves we all have, RAW-style). It never hurts to surprise people either, but yes it's hard to compromise on telling your truth, I agree. There's always the Socratic devil's advocate approach available, however.

And extroverts can be very useful. Putting groups of people at their ease, for example.

Dedroidify said...

Well at least there's two of us hehe.

Introverted generally means our energy is directed more automatically inwards, and extroverts outwards.

And yes that means that introverts are more guided about their privacy, need to trust someone before opening up. For me it means I like ideas more than I like their vessels (the people :p).

But it sure doesn't mean our BS doesn't get in the way of intelligent thought, that's a human flaw (well, an engineered one...).

Although introverts might be more prone to investigate their own biases, being directed more inward anyway, than our extroverted counterparts who may act more automatically. That's not say they can't realize their follies either. They are just more busy with the outside world than the inner thought world.

There's no doubt in my mind extroverts are as useful as introverts on this planet, yin yang baby.

Anonymous said...

I've found the Myers-Briggs personality types model very useful.

I apply what you call model-agnosticism to my personality and human interactions. Although my thought/action patterns are strongly introverted by tendancy, this doesn't limit my interpersonal skills.

I don't like to limit myself to one personality, one person's way of interaction, or whatever extroversion/introversion imprint-set I happen to hold.

For somebody who's introverted, it takes a lot of work and effort to develop such skills to a high degree. This work involves long and repated social interaction, desensitisation to social-pressure by means of 'taboo' activities, and disidentification from emotions of 'shyness'. If this is what a person wants however (afterall, these skills are perhaps more useful than any other for a 'natural' introvert), it can be done.

Once you've learned how to emulate and better an extroverts way of interacting with people, and once you've integrated the principles behind it into your meta-processing and nervous-system 'thought', you can actully have far more willed influence and understanding of social interaction than a 'natural'.

The main problem, I've found, is disidentifying from social personality. What I say and do to an 'ordinary' human in social-interaction with an aim to achieving something affects my self-concept very little, whereas most people who have problems in this area seem to see their social-personality as a much greater part of 'who they are'.

I hope this perspective is helpful.

Dedroidify said...

Wow those are great comments, wonderful insights and much appreciated. Thanks a lot.

Fake (act) it till you make it ;)

all the world's a stage

Anonymous said...

(Same poster- sorry if double post)

NP. I enjoy talking about this with receptive individuals- the average citizen sees you as a kind of sociopath for not believing that you have 1 true personality... for having the audacity to be who you choose when you choose. Hence, this isn't something I often have a chance to express.

''Fake it till you make it''- exactly ;-).

I've actually found the exercises regarding sociability and attractiveness in chapter 1 of Prometheus Rising an effective model for expanding social personality in general.

One of the benefits of not having too many responsibilites or routines is that you can wake up and be whoever you want to be that day- although, in practice, it takes a lot of work to ahieve such a level of flexibility. When one escapes from roles, both internal and social, one can play any role.

As such, a middle-aged family man with two kids, a career, and many expected roles is probably going to have to undergoe serious mental trauma to achieve any degree of flexibility. His personality is likely to be highly externally and socially defined, and something analogous to a personality-crisis would be neccesary for internally-directed change.